Saturday, 22 February 2014

Birthday wishes

Only special people receive wishes from me and you have always been on top of the list………………..yes, I mean it. I like everything about you. You spread positive vibes where ever you go!

Happy birthday to you
I want to do something special for you
It’s your birthday and you’re special too
So I brought some guabs from the outer guab zoo
They honk and squak and sing just for you
Happy birthday to you
Open your eyes, here’s a present
More crazy creatures, don’t worry they are pleasant
They’re upside downwards on inside out swings
They do things backwards and backwards theyu sing
Yipppah yadhtrib, yippah yadhtrib, yippah yippah
Yadhtrib ot ouy
Which means
Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you!
There’s a party, a party today (yimu)
A once in a year occasion
A party (party), it’s coming your way
Your birthday celebration!
The greatest present I’ve saved till the end
Because you’re the bestest of all my friends
Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you!
I wanted to tell you in my own special way
You’re extra special! So have a great day.

The words are from Disney channel (covers face, baby things) but it says encapsules everything I wanna say.
Happy birthday Temitope Saliu, my bestest bestie, my buttercup, my very own sugar, my one and only………………….kiss kiss

Thursday, 20 February 2014

This and that

This week has been one hell of a week for me, from Sunday, everything was just going wrong and its not really funny! There’s this one song by Don Williams I like and the lyrics says what’s on my mind.
Lord I hope this day is good
I’m feeling empty and misunderstood
I should be thankful Lord I know I should
But Lord I hope this day is good

Lord have you forgotten me
I’ve been praying to you faithfully
I’m not saying am a righteous man
But Lord I hope you understand

I don’t need fortune and I don’t need fame
Send down the thunder, Lord send down the rain
But when you’re planning just how it will be
Plan a good day for me

Lord I hope this day is good
I’m feeling empty and misunderstood
I should be thankful Lord I know I should
But Lord I hope this day is good

You’ve been the King since the dawn of time
All that I’m asking is a little less crime
It might be hard for the devil to do
But it would be easy for me

Lord I hope this day is good
I’m feeling empty and misunderstood
I should be thankful Lord I know I should
But Lord I hope this day is good.

Well, today is looking bright and fair, I trust it will be different from the other days so far…………………………………………Meanwhile 22nd is my bff’s birthday, whoop! Whoop!!, another special friend is going to be a year older same day I can’t wait!

Saturday, 15 February 2014


Today I'll be doing the concluding part of the personality disorder series and a summary of all the personality disorders listed in previous posts.

SADISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER: pervasive pattern of cruel, demeaning and aggressive behaviour.
SELF DEFEATING PERSONALITY DISORDER (MASOCHISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER) characterised by behaviour consequently undermining the person’s pleasure and goals.

PARANOID: guarded, defensive, distrustful and suspicious, hypervigilant to the motives of others to undermine or do harm. Always seeking confirmatory evidence of hidden schemes, feels righteous but persecuted.
SCHIZOID: apathetic, indifferent, remorse, solitary, distant, humourless. Neither desires or needs human attachments, withdrawn from relationships and prefers to be alone. Little interest in others, often seen as a loner. Minimal awareness of feelings of self or others, few drives or ambitions if any.
SCHIZOTYPAL: eccentric, self estranged, bizarre, absent, exhibits peculiar mannerisms and behaviours, thinks can read thoughts of others. Preoccupied with odd daydreams and beliefs, blurs line between reality and fantasy, magical thinking and strange beliefs.
ANTISOCIAL: impulsive, irresponsible, deviant, unruly, acts without due consideration, meets social obligations only when self serving, disrespects societal customs, rules and standards, sees self as free and independent.
BODERLINE: unpredictable, manipulative, unstable, frantically fears abandonment and isolation, experiences rapidly fluctuating moods shifts rapidly between loving and hating, sees self and others alternatively as all good and all bad, unstable and frequently changing moods.
INSTRIONIC : dramatic, seductive, shallow, stimulus seeking, vain, over reacts to minor events, exhibitionistic as a means of securing attention and favour. Sees self as attractive and charming, constant seeking for other’s attention.
NARCISSISTIC: egocentric, arrogant, grandiose, insouciant, preoccupied with fantasies of success, beauty or achievements, sees self as admirable and superior and therefore entitled to special treatments.
AVOIDANT: hesitant, self conscious, embarrassed, anxious, tense in social situation due to fear of rejection, plagued by constant performance anxiety, sees self as inept, inferior or unappealing, feels alone and empty.
DEPENDENT: helpless, incompetent, submissive, immature, withdrawn from adult responsibilities, sees self as weak or fragile, seeks constant reassurance from stronger figures.
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE: restrained, conscientious, respectful, rigid, maintains a rule bound lifestyle, adhere closely to social conventions, sees the world in terms of regulations and hierarchies, sees self as devoted, reliable, efficient and productive.
DEPRESSIVE: sombre, discouraged, pessimistic, brooding, fatalistic, presents self as vulnerable and abandoned, feels valueless, guilty and impotent, judges self as worthy only of criticisms and contempt.
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE (NEGATIVISTIC) : resentful, contrary, sceptical, discontent, resists fulfilling others’ expectations, deliberately inefficient, vents anger indirectly by undermining others’ goals, alternatively moody and irritable, then sullen and withdrawn.
SADISTIC: explosively hostile, abrasive, cruel, dogmatic, liable to sudden outbursts of rage, feels self satisfied through dominating, intimidating and humiliating others, opinionated and close minded.
SELF DEFEATING (MASOCHISTIC): differential, pleasure-phobia, servile, blameful, self effacing, encourages others to take advantage, deliberately defeats own achievements, seeks condemning or mistreatful partners.

Friday, 14 February 2014

birthday wishes

Today is my boo boo’s birthday and am taking time out to wish her a happy birthday here! Valentina, you’ve always been there for me, you support me, you encourage me, you listen to me……………………plus those other things friends do…………. Happy birthday love; this poem sums everything I want to say.
One song can spark a moment
One flower can wake the dream
One tree can start a forest
One primrose can herald the spring
One smile begins friendship
One hand clasp can lift a soul
One star can guide the ship at night
One word can frame the goal
One vote can change a nation
One sunbeam can light a room
One candle can wipe out darkness
One laugh will conquer gloom
One touch can show you care
One love can make a difference
One friend can make life worth living
You are one friend that makes me feel alive

I wish you the best! Love you my cupcake!


A person with obsessive compulsive personality disorder is anxious that issues seem out of control or ‘messy’. They are preoccupied with orderliness and ways to control their environment and may come across as a ‘control freak’. Other symptoms include:
Having an excessive interest in lists, timetables and rules.
Being so concerned with completing a task perfectly that they have problems completing it (perfectionist).
Being a workaholic.
Having very rigid views about issues such as morality, ethics and how a person should behave in daily life.
Hoarding items that seem to have no monetary or sentimental value.
Being unable to delegate tasks to other people.
Disliking spending money, as they think it is always better to save for the ‘rainy day’.
This personality disorder differs from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), a related mental health condition, in several important ways.
People with OCD are aware their behaviour is abnormal and are anxious about it. Most people with obsessive compulsive personality disorder think their behaviour is perfectly acceptable and have no desire to change it.
Some people with OCD are compelled to carry out rituals, such as having to touch every second lamp post as they walk down the street. This is not usually the case with obsessive compulsive personality disorder.
People with OCD may feel compelled to make lists or organise items in their house but feel anxious about doing so. People with obsessive compulsive personality disorder find relief from anxiety when doing such tasks and may become irritated when prevented from doing so.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD) is a mental health condition where a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviour.
An obsession is an unwanted, unpleasant thought, or urges that repeatedly enters a person’s mind, causing them anxiety.
The word ‘obsession’ usually describes something enjoyable but in OCD the obsession is unpleasant and frightening.
Compulsion is a repetitive behaviour or mental act that someone feels they need to carry out to try to prevent an obsession coming true. For example someone who is obsessively scared they will catch a disease may feel the need to have a shower every time they use a toilet.
OCD symptoms
The symptoms of OCD can range from mild to severe. For example, some people with OCD may spend an hour or so a day engaged in obsessive compulsive thinking and behaviour. For others, the condition can completely take over their life. Most people with OCD fall into a set pattern of thoughts and behaviours. The pattern has four main steps.
OBSESSION: your mind is overwhelmed by a constant obsessive fear or concern, such as the fear your house will be burgled.
ANXIETY: this obsession provokes a feeling of intense anxiety and distress.
COMPULSION: you adopt a pattern of compulsive behaviour to reduce your anxiety and distress, such as checking all your windows and doors are locked at least three times before leaving the house.
TEMPORARY RELIEF; the compulsive behaviour brings temporary relief from anxiety but the obsession and anxiety soon return causing the cycle to begin again.
Some common obsessions that affect people with OCD include:
Fear of deliberately harming yourself or others.
Fear of harming yourself or others by mistake or accident.
Fear of contamination by disease, infection or an unpleasant substance.
A need for sympathy or orderliness.
Fear of committing an act that would seriously offend your religious beliefs.
Asking for reassurance.
Needing to confess.
Repeating words silently.
Prolonged thoughts about the same subject.
‘neutralising’ thoughts (to counter the obsessive thoughts).

Thursday, 13 February 2014


A person with cluster C personality disorder struggles with persistent and overwhelming feelings of anxiety and fear. They may show patterns of behaviour most people would regard as antisocial and withdrawn. They fear personal relationships.

A person with an avoidant personality disorder appears painfully shy, is socially inhibited, feels inadequate and is extremely sensitive to rejection.
Unlike people with schizoid personality disorders they desire close relationships with others but lack the confidence and ability to form them.

A person with dependent personality disorder feels they have no ability to be independent. They may show an excessive need for others to look after them and are ‘clingy’. Other symptoms include:
Finding it difficult to make decisions without other people’s guidance.
Needing others to take responsibilities over what should be their own important life choices.
Not being able to express disagreement with other people.
Finding it difficult to start new activities due to a lack of confidence.
Going to extremes to obtain support and comfort.
Feeling helpless and uncomfortable when alone.
Urgently needing to start a new relationship once a previous relationship comes to an end.
Having an unrealistic and constant fear they will be left alone to fend for themselves.

Monday, 10 February 2014


A person with cluster B personality disorder struggles to regulate their feelings and often swings between positive and negative views of others. This can lead to pattern of behaviours others describe as dramatic, unpredictable and disturbing.
A person with an antisocial personality disorder sees other people as vulnerable and may intimidate or bully others without remorse. They lack concern about consequences their actions may have. Symptoms include:
1) Lack of concern, regret or remorse about other people’s distress.
2) Irresponsibility and disregard for normal social behaviour.
3) Little ability to tolerate frustration and to control their anger.
4) Lack of guilt or not learning from their mistakes.
5) Blaming others for problems in their lives.
A person with borderline personality disorder is emotionally unstable, has impulses to self harm and has very intense and unstable relationship with others.
It is a disorder of mood and how a person interacts with others. Many people with borderline personality disorder would self harm and attempt suicide.
A person with a histrionic personality disorder is anxious about being ignored. As a result they feel a compulsion (overwhelming urge) to be noticed and the centre of everybody’s attention. Symptoms and behaviours include:
1) Displaying excessive emotion yet appearing to lack real emotional sincerity.
2) Dressing provocatively and engaging in inappropriate flirting or sexually seductive behaviour.
3) Moving quickly from one emotional state to another.
4) Being self centred and caring little about other people.
5) Constantly seeking reassurance and approval from other people.
Symptoms and signs may co-exist with borderline personality disorder.
A person with a narcissistic personality disorder swings between seeing themselves as special and fearing they are worthless. They may act as if they have an inflated sense of their own importance and show an intense need for other people to look up to them. Symptoms include:
1) Exaggerating their own achievements and abilities.
2) Thinking they are entitled to be treated better than other people.
3) Exploiting other people for their own personal gain.
4) Lacking empathy for other people’s weaknesses.
5 Looking down on people they feel are ‘beneath’ them while feeling deeply envious of people they see as being ‘above’ them.

Sunday, 9 February 2014


Well, this is a deviation from the norm, and please don't link this post with valentine oh *rme*
It dates back to 2004, I was in SS1, I went with students of my dad's school to UI zoo, seated beside me was this dude, handsome, chubby, tall, etc..........I was a starry eyed teenager, I didn't know anything about love but there was this connection between us. Both of us were quiet but admist the silence and all, we could feel some current and all. By the time we got to Lagos Ibadan express way, we couldn't stand the pretence. I can't remember who talked first but we got talking and even when we got to Ibadan, we were lost in our teenage fantasy world. After that day, we looked forward to the next time we would meet, somehow we managed to attend events like debates, quiz etc where we would be present as it was the only hope of our seeing considering the fact that you were in the boarding house and pop was your principal......oh well, I looked forward to reading and replying your used to call me ada and I called you obim....I remember in SS3, in the chemistry lab, both of us were so emotional because graduating from high school meant separation; you promised to come back for me no matter what. Well, after we left school, we lost contact, I searched for you on facebook to no avail, I asked was like you were missing or something......I guess I got tired of waiting so I started dating someone else but I still hoped you'll come and get me one day. I found you after 8 was very painful.....we tried to catch up on old times but it was obvious maturity changed our taste. I no longer felt that strong thing I used to know what they say that we can't always stay, sometimes we have to move on. We're not always given a choice. At some point, people don't have to stay. Some do, some don't. Along the line, I've come to realise what I felt wasn't exactly love but it was deeper than ordinary was more of feelings of connection. Last week tuesday, I was sorting through the pieces of my past and I tried to savour the good parts but I broke down and wept like a baby.... I wept hard because the last time we talked, you said you didn't want to further your education due to some challanges. I remember I cried, begged, etc but your mind was made up. Now am a graduate and I feel bad because I remember we had dreams..... You wanted to become a doctor; what happened to that dream? Why? I don't think I'll ever heal from the heartbreak you caused me by dropping out.
Now dear readers wondering why am ranting, there's nothing wrong living in the past, it feels good to remember....the memory was a happy one.......and to you Obiora, you will always remain special to me, you were my first crush, on that day, May 18,2004......I hope you finally eat your words and go back to school......and I hope you find the woman of your dreams Obim!

Saturday, 8 February 2014


Several different types of personality disorder are recognized. They can be broadly grouped into one of three clusters. A, B or C
A person in this group tends to have difficulty relating to others and usually shows patterns of behaviours most people would regard as odd and eccentric. Others may describe them as living in a fantasy world of their own.
A person with a paranoid personality disorder is extremely distrustful and suspicious. Other symptoms include:
Thinking other people are lying to them or trying to manipulate them.
Feeling they cannot really trust their friends and associates.
Worrying any confidential information shared with others will be used against them.
Thinking there are hidden meanings in remarks most would regard as innocent.
Worrying their spouse or partner is unfaithful, despite a lack of evidence.

A person with a schizoid personality disorder may appear cold and detached, and avoid making close social contact with others. Other symptoms include:
Preferring to take part in activities that do not require interaction with others.
Having little desire to form close relationships, including sexual relationships.
Being uninterested while receiving criticism or praise.
Having a limited ability to experience pleasure or joy.

A person with a schizotypal personality disorder is likely to have poor social skills and delusional thoughts, and behave in unusual ways. Other symptoms include:
Attaching undue and misguided significance to everyday events, such as thinking newspaper headlines are secret messages to them.
Believing in special powers, such as telepathy or the ability to influence other people’s emotions and actions.
Having unusual way of speaking such as long rambling vague sentences or going off on a tangent.
Experiencing excessive anxiety in social situations, even if they have known a particular person or group of people a long time.

Friday, 7 February 2014


I’ve had this nagging feeling to do an article on personality disorders because of the different types of people I’ve come to relate with in my career as a blogger and during my usual blog troll *chuckles*. Anyways I hope at the end of the series, we would have learnt one or new things about the way we behave and what influences our behaviour(s). Thanks to Wikipedia and for everything written here
Wikipedia defines personality disorders as a class of mental disorders characterised by enduring maladaptive pattern of behaviour, cognition and inner experience, exhibited across many contexts and deviating markedly from those accepted by the individual’s culture.
Personality disorders are defined by experiences and behaviours that differ from societal norms and expectations.
Simply put, personality disorders are conditions in which an individual differs significantly from an average person, in terms of how they think, perceive, feel or relate with others.
Being overwhelmed by negative feelings such as distress, anxiety, worthlessness or anger
Avoiding other people and feeling empty and emotionally disconnected
Difficulty managing negative feelings without self-harming (eg abusing drugs or alcohol or taking overdose) or in rare cases, threatening other people
Odd behaviours
Difficulty maintaining stable and close relationships especially with partners, children and professional colleagues
Sometimes, periods of losing contact with reality
Symptoms typically get worse with stress.
People with personality disorders often have other mental health problems, especially depression and substance misuse.
Personality disorders typically emerge in adolescence and continue into adulthood.
They may be mild, moderate or severe and people may have periods of ‘remission’ where they function well.
Personality disorders may be associated with genetic or family factors. Experiences of distress or fear during childhood, such as neglect or abuse are common.