Sunday, 20 July 2014

Dating a mummy's boy?

The greatest misfortune that can happen to any girl is dating a guy who is still tied to his mother's apron string.
Imagine a grown ass adult telling you his mother told him not to drink custard that is causes convulsion,  dafuck? Or a grown ass man whose mum still buys him boxers.  Oh yeah,  mother can get you boxers once in a while but always? No frigging way baby.
While I have it etched on my gray matter that my duty as a girl friend is not to play the role of his mother,  I won't and can't accept baby sitting a man who always whines my mummy this, my mommy that every freaking time,  we'll,  I've not had the misfortune of dating one so far though because my own craze no be for here at all.
Mummy's boy is a term for a man who is excessively attached to his mother at an age when men are expected to be independent.
With a mummy's boy,  you either make a decision to stay and learn to cope or else get out and set your sights on a more independent dude.
Signs that you're with a mummy's boy

1. He speaks to her everyday
he just has to contact her everyday either by phone , email,  text,  Skype or face to face.  And this takes importance over everything else
2. He spends major holidays with her
They have certain traditions that cannot be broken,  not on anybody's account.
3. He asks her for advise
Whenever he is in a fix,  it is his mother he turns to before anyone else. Of course this means that if you're having problems in your relationship,  he is likely to talk to his mother about how to solve them.
4. He runs errands for her all the time
He's happy to drop anything he's doing at the moment to go and run errands for his mother.
5. He can't say no to her
His favorite word to her is "yes" . He wants to please her and gain her approval at all cost.  He's craved it all his life and he's ready to put her first to get some recognition. This means that the word "no"  is out of the question and is something that he will try to avoid saying if possible as he can't stand facing her disappointment.
6. He needs her for reassurance
Whenever your guy is feeling insecure or anxious about something,  he turns to mum to build him up.  He wants her compliments,  praise and words of support to get him through and he will continually go to her when his confidence is low.  Without this  he struggles to believe on himself and have the courage to take on life as a man.
7. He puts her ahead of his wife/girlfriend
He'll always consider how she might be impacted by your plans and will cancel if they don't suit mum.  He will be quick to defend his mother over you and you'll need to get on her if you want a long term relationship with her son.  He'll talk about her a lot to you,  spend time with her exclusively and you'll have to fit in with her routines -  no questions asked.
8. He let's her come over to his place unannounced
She'll have free reign to come over to his place unannounced. There are no boundaries with her,  so if she's in the area and she has some free time she'll be popping in.  This might be a nice surprise on some occasions but on others it can be embarrassing,  inconvenient and annoying.
9. He relies on her for money
Although he is an adult,  he still may rely on her for financial support.  He appreciates this but is also tied to this as he has certain obligations abd pressure.  The money gives him security but it also binds him to keeping mum as the most important person in his life.
10. He still lives at home
This is a huge sign that your guy is a mummy's boy.  He is all grown up but he is still living at home or else he's got a place out the back of the house or he's living on the same street.  This tells you that he hasn't cut the strings and become independent and still needs the emotional support of mother to deal with life's stressors.
Thoughts?

Meanwhile today my very good blogger friend and namesake Chidinma of www.thatnigeriangirl.net will be taking part in the miss Africa New Jersey and she's representing Nigeria so lovelies,  let's wish her luck.  Babes,  you know am solidly behind you.  That crown must come to Nigeria oh *bats eyelashes *.

29 comments:

  1. Going by these standards, I am not a Mummy's boy. I don't run errands for my mum everyday cos we r not in d same state even. I don't ask my mum for money. I don't put my mum ahead of a girlfriend cos I don't date yet. I don't live wit my mum.

    Yippee!!! Am not a Mummy's boy in Seyon's books. But wait o, is there a prize for not being a Mummy's boy?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which one is Seyon's book again?
      You know you're my oga at the top *winks*
      Yes there's a prize oh *bats eyelashes *

      Delete
  2. Hmmmm....I can NEVER EVER date a mommy's boy....honestly, Yes I have done it before buh mehn I had to get out - can you imagine a grown ass man whose excuse for everything is - 'You know my mom worries alot, lemme check with her' ---- soooo...(don't wanna sound prude here)...I got sick to my marrow one day, I mean I had it up to my wide nose....and I was like I am gonna deal with this kid....so when it was time to get intimate......I stripped down to nothing....when he was stripping - I said, 'Erhmm...you need to call your mom and ask her if it is okay to be doing this - I mean we wouldn't wanna hurt her fragile heart right?'.....he thought I was crazy...I stood my ground, 'Call your worrying mother and ask her if it is okay to have sex with me?!'.....Yup!...bloody sucker!...and that was it....Sorry mami...I just had to say that....I am allergic to a man-child......Blessed Sunday Mamacita

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only person you can date is your boo *winks *
      I've never done it Mami. Glad to know you left the loser.

      Delete
    2. He he he that was awesome Tibs. I love how you gave him back!!! Really it's so funny why a man can't stand to be a man that he is...

      Delete
    3. No time to say no time jare.

      Delete
  3. Wait! Wait!! Wait!!! I just don't get it. So running errands, calling Her on a daily basis n etc are signs of mummy whatever? Wow!
    Seyon, pls just incase You have a register, diary or book where You put their names(ie mummy's boy's names), kindly put Mine as the number 1 because despite the fact that I am far from Her, I can't go a single day without calling Her sometimes I call Her 3-4 times in a day. I'm a proud Mummy's boy....




    Jay_Ricki

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jay it's like you read this with a biased mind. Come back and read it when you're calm.

      Delete
    2. Annoy. No one is saying you shouldn't call or love your mama here but excess of everything to the extend that your wifey or girlfriend is nothing to u again is what Amaka is saying.
      That's were the problem comes.

      As a matured adult you should be able to make decisions on your own not mama mama every time.

      Delete
  4. Hmnnn....boo loves his mum. Doesn't call her unnecessarily but he calls her just ok. Well I've never dated a mummy's boy. Cant deal o. Have you heard of boy's mum? Like she's always trying to be involved in his life. I've dated a boy's mum and boy did I hate it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's absolutely nothing wrong in calling his mother but when it takes importance over everything then I have a problem with that.
      Which one is boy's mum? My own craze won't allow me to come across such boys self.

      Delete
  5. I don't agree with your #1 point Amaka, my mum has 3 of us and we talk to her everyday. Can't go a day without hearing her voice and same goes to my sistas, so if a guy decides to call his Mom every friggin day its no p. Remember how a guy treats his Mom will give a cue on how he would treat a girl. What I can't take is *my mommy say this, my mommy says that* wahala and of course your other points.
    www.tosyne101.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems everyone is reading me wrong. It's okay to call your mum, I call mine too but when it takes importance over everything, there is a problem.

      Delete
  6. I've never been one. Will never be #Ikd






    @iMannie_

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nice post! Mummy's boys are the pits but I'm a semi daddy's girl so I kinda understand where they're coming from. On the other hand if I notice a young man has no regard for his mother, can spend a week without talking to her, can't go out of his way to do anything for her. I take for my heels.

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  8. Am not against being close to his mum but at a point, A man has to be independent. The Bible says therefore shall he leave his parents and cleave to his wife.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea...I am solidly behind you Amaka. Your points are absolutely clear and true

      Delete
  9. I'm not in support of this post #straight post# women should painting picture of what men are not in our society is not contributing. Men are meant to be celebrated and not to be given a name

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  10. I'm sorry but I despise boys who are tied to their mum's apron strings. It's good to have a good relationship with your mother but some relationships are....... Hope I don't date a mummy's boy because i'd literally strangle him

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    ReplyDelete
  12. First of, you don't expect to write a post like this without getting negative replies do you?
    Then, at a point in time, when a guy is too attached to his mum for whatever fuckign reason, it becomes a problem. His relationship is only one of the areas the problem would affect. i love my mum to death but i would never call her everyday. for what na?... i wan suck breast abi wetin?... Keep entngling urslf to ur mom and you'll seen realize how hard it'll get building something for urslf and your spouse. mtchew!


    maturemindstalk.blogspot.com

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  13. Exactly right. I just stopped dating a mummy's boy after only 2 dates. After talking about her all the time, being so late to our last date I thought he wasn't coming - only to learn he couldn't drag himself away from his mother, checking in with her DURING each date - checking her msgs even straight after we had our first kiss! I got tired really quickly of being left hanging because she came first I told him he didn't respect me and ran.

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    ReplyDelete