Have you shut people our of your life because they just aren't good enough for you? Or have good people stayed away from you because your standards for friendship appears too high?
A perfectionist is someone who holds the underlying belief that perfection can be achieved and it should to be.
The perfectionist takes things to the extreme. Doing your best and being a perfectionist are two different things as one is balanced and the other is not. A perfectionist labour under the illusion that mistakes shouldn't be made.
How to spot the perfectionist
1. You are highly conscious and hyper critical of mistakes hence you have an extremely sharp eyes for details
2. You aim to be the best in everything you do, even if it is something that you have no interest in
3. You spend copious amount of time right to the last moment to perfect something
4. You get absolute ideals. There is only black and white, no Grey
5. You are the hardest critic of yourself
6. You mull over outcomes if they did not turn out as envisioned
7. You are defensive towards criticism and have a fear of failure because they suggest imperfections
8. You have only the end goal in mind
9. You have an all or nothing approach
10. You are very conscious of any situation which might give others the perception you are not perfect
Are there downsides of being a perfectionist? My cupcakes the answer is yes as perfectionism is a form of obsessive compulsive personality disorder. The effects include
1. Lower productivity
5. Poor health and mental wellbeing
6. Suboptimal relationships
To stop the perfectionist mindset from taking over your life,
1. Redefine success: the fact is that few people ever succeed at being the best and even when a person does it, it is usually just a matter of time before someone comes along who will perform better. Success means doing your best, not outdoing someone else's.
2. Be realistic: your expectations should be equal to your abilities and limitations. Setting the bar too high for yourself can be a sign of egotism.
3. Lighten up: view your errors in a different light. Doing so will help you to see that making mistakes is simply part of the learning process.
4. Be aware of your motivation for perfection
5. Recognize that ideals are directions not absolutes
6. Respect and love yourself
7. Focus on the big picture
8. Delegate and let go
9. Celebrate the victories and progress made.