Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Signs that you are in a relationship with yourself

Lately I've fallen in love with love and I've written a couple of love posts in my head but this morning,  I finally overcame laziness and put it down for us to share my thoughts.
Before I forget,  I want to give a big shout out to Moby; she came over to my workplace and spent over one hour with me.  You the best babes.
So yes,  we all have loved at some point,  we must love after all isn't it the force of love that keeps us alive? But the sad truth is at some point, we can't always stay,  sometimes we have to move on and we're not always given a choice.  At some point,  people don't have to stay.  Some do, some don't,  some can't. The fact that we can't always stay is why people break up,  marriages collapse and all of that.
Me thinks that people just don't fall out of love,  it is a process that if not handled with caution and care leaves bad taste and the "God punish my ex" shit. Well,  you know they say love is like playing the piano,  first you must learn to play by the rules,  then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.
So what are the signs of the first cracks?
1. Communication is almost non existent
The main reason I broke up with 99% of my ex boyfriends is communication.  I can't imagine not talking to my partner at least twice a day if we are not together. When I love , I love with my body,  my soul,  my spirit and all so if my partner doesn't call me often,  then something is wrong but some people make the mistake of doing the calling all the time.  Heck no! Communication is a two way traffic.  If you don't get as much as a text message that won't take one minute to compose,  honey,  the red flag is waving up there.

2. The pictures of both of you is the one you picmix
If the only pictures of you and your partner is the one you use those photo applications to join is what you are displaying as "my boo and I" then you are very single. End of story.

3. You are always at loggerheads
I once dated a guy who was always marking me.  Like I call xyz boo and he picks a fight , anything I did was always wrong,  I broke up with him in my mind six  months before I told him to his face.  If you spend 23 out of 24 hours settling quarrels then you might just be in a relationship with yourself.

4. You don't know any of his family or friends six months into the relationship
Six months is a whole lot yeah? Yes,  I wrote six months because it's after six months I count a relationship as real,  anything less is puppy love.
How can you date a guy this long and not know a single of his family or friends? I don't mean friends that only come to eat jollof rice oh,  I mean his or her real gees.  My boyfriend not introducing me to his family or friends only means one thing.  I don't exist.  End of discussion.
Abeg if you don't know your partner's friends (and take note that you should be introduced voluntarily,  you shouldn't ask), use your tongue to count your teeth and run for dear life with your legs touching the back of your head.

5. Emotionally unavailable
If your supposed boo isn't available emotionally,  honey what are you still waiting for? There is more to a relationship than sex.  Yes,  the romance is important but isn't it the emotions we feel that attracts us to people? You don't have to beg before emotions is showered on you.  Abeg if your partner is emotionally unavailable, then you should wake up and smell the coffee.

Remember, just because I love you and you love me doesn't mean we are meant to be and like I like to say,  there are no guarantees in life  only promises and whispers.
If any of this is evident in your relationship, you just might be dating yourself.
Let's talk


  1. Oh mami...there was a time I was in a relationship with myself....I mean this guy was in another planet basically (in my head), I had a few pictures to work with...the 'I love you' came in large doses.....he was an was like he fell from the family or friends...I mean he could basically be missing and I wont be able to give a sketch artist his description or details cuz all the photos I had **in my husband's words** were raggedy rattery....If I said, 'Hey Mr B, how was your day..did you do anything new?'....he would say, 'Erhm not really, just the same ish, thinking of you and wishing things were different'....da hell!!...thinking of me is crap!!...gimme something concrete so I could think of you too.......I dunno why nobody slapped some senses into me!......**deeps sigh** Hows you mamacita!

    1. Lool babes that's one stupid thing I've done I would never do. I think those foolish days were part of the growing up process.
      Am good, just a tad tired.

  2. Very correct. When you see the signs run don't force relationship with people

  3. *strolling by* :D


  4. You not only run, you run like a mad person is chasing you. It was nice chilling with you swirrie *mwaaah*

    I wrote a letter to my father...dunno if that's a bad thing. I hope someone sees it and reads it loud to him. Please check it out

  5. I wasn't quilty of any in my last relationship. I've learnt that ladies can't be understood, they can only be loved.


    1. You can't understand someone if you'd rather make assumptions than ask to be understood honey

  6. @iMannie, You're right. I try to understand a lady but these days ladies are very tough courses to offer. The only woman I understand n that understands Me extra very well is My Mum.
    So Amaka I have given everything I could, but nothing to reckon with.


    1. Sigh. Maybe you've been loving the wrong person. Biko mail your phone number to me ehn.

  7. Sometimes it is not easy leaving a relationship, you begin to think and think and hope that things would get better till God gives you a knock on your

  8. So correct, so on point. When all these signs are there, it is obvious one is dating herself.