Wednesday, 2 July 2014

When parents argue



Do your parents ever argue in front of you? If so what do they fight about? Money? Relatives? You?
Cupcakes, growing up wasn't fun for me because it was like the only moment my parents didn't argue was more than the times they argued. I used to dread coming home after school and I'll make sure to play till it's late so when I get home I'll just eat dinner, do my home work and go to bed but doing that was like an ostrich burying it's head in the sand to avoid being seen when infact it's whole body is on display. At a point I asked myself how long I'll live in denial so I resorted to writing letters to both parents and dropping it on their desks.
You see, you can't help but be affected by your parents dispute after all you love them and rely on them for support. Seeing your parents quarrel brings home a painful realization that they aren't nearly as perfect as we think they are. When the arguments are frequent and intense, the fear and worry that their marriage is on the verge of breaking up may set in. I remember being scared to go to school because my parents might have split with my mum moving out.
Well, parents having disagreements doesn't automatically mean that their marriage is falling apart as people who love each other may still disagree at times. Unity does not require uniformity.
What to do?
1. Be respectful. Treating a parent with contempt will only add to family tensions
2. Remain neutral. You could excuse yourself by telling them to work out their differences between themselves
3. Communicate. Tell your parents how their quarreling makes you feel and choose a time when you think they'll be receptive.

What not to do
1. Don't play the marriage counsellor. Trying to take over the controls by involving yourself in your parents marital troubles would likely just make things worse.
2. Don't join in. Two clashing voices are bad enough. Why add a third voice to the argument?
3. Don't play one parent against the other. Clever might gain you a little freedom but in the long run, it prolongs family strife.
4. Don't let their behaviour affect your behaviour.

6 comments:

  1. No 1 and 2 is best option.
    and No 4 on the what not to do is a great advice but truth be told; IT MAY NOT BE EASY!
    Nice write up Dear

    ReplyDelete
  2. Uhh..#2 is the most difficult...and #4...that is when you have develop selective hearing....Grrr!...hows you mami.. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am fine cupcake and truly, it's not easy

      Delete
  3. Well said. I hate t when I see my parents do that...makes it look like life is hopeless and marriage is the worst thing. Not good at all when too frequent.
    Great tips! Exactly the right steps to take

    ReplyDelete