Wikipedia defines self control as Self-control is the ability to control one's emotions, behavior, and desires in the face of external demands in order to function in society. It goes on to say that " Self-control is essential in behavior to achieve goals and to avoid impulses and/or emotions that could prove to be negative".
Here are some tips from wikihow on how to exercise self control.
- Make a list of the positives and negatives in your life. Write down a list of which areas of your life are suffering and which are prospering then focus on the essentials in order to keep the list brief.
- Take a look at the areas you suck with and Brainstorm ways to deal with them, for example, if you are failing all of your classes in school, you might need to study or if you are gaining weight at an alarming rate, you may need to sacrifice a few candy bars. Think of causes and solutions to every problem that you write down, then recognize that you are not the only one with this problem. People often refer to poor self-control when they have problems with diet, exercise, work or study habits, addictions, and emotional behavior. These are all parts of life that many people find difficulty regulating.
- Research the area in which you are lacking control. Read books or articles about the area you are having difficulty with. Becoming informed makes it much easier to make the right decision when you're tempted to overdo something. For example, if you want to lose weight, taking the time to read about nutrition and healthy dieting will naturally motivate you and make eating right much more enjoyable. In terms of gaining self-control, knowledge really is power. If you have friends with similar problems, ask them about their own experiences. By comparing notes, you might get tips on the coping mechanisms and strategies that they use. It also helps to have reassurance that struggling with self-control does not make you a weak person.
- Gradually increase your ability for self-denial. Start small by challenging yourself to control your behavior for a short period of time. For example, if you are addicted to television, try turning it off for one day. Then work up to leaving it off for two days, then longer. If you are struggling with your diet, promise yourself to only eat one dessert item a day. For every decision you make, leave room to gradually increase the level of self-denial.
- Don't try to break your destructive habit all at once. This is likely to lead to a dramatic "falling off the wagon" that will leave you feeling depressed and hopeless. Enlist your friends and family to help you. Tell your family to remind you of your goals whenever you fall back into bad behaviors. A friendly reminder is all that's required. Constant nagging will only make you hide and sneak around. Family and friends can also join you in alternative actions when you're having trouble controlling yourself. For example, if your friends are drinking and you're trying to abstain, ask if one of them wouldn't mind joining you in a trip to get some ice cream.
- Distract yourself. When you feel the urge to lose your self-control, immediately think of something else you could be doing. Go for a walk. Write a thank you card. Drink a glass of water. This will derail the train of thought and give you time to regain your self-discipline.
- Learn how to relax. Part of self-control is learning how to relax and to ease the tension. Research different methods of relaxing your body and mind and decide which best suits you. Consider meditation. Meditation is all about discipline, and the point of it is to discipline your mind to such a state where it remains clear, while positive energy flows through you. You're meant to not anchor yourself to specific thoughts. Practicing meditation may give you a sense of renewed self-disciple, concentration, and happiness. Try deep breathing. This is something you can do wherever you are. Simply close your eyes. Exhale completely. Inhale slowly, counting up to four and hold the breath, counting up to seven. Then release the breath very slowly, counting up to eight.
- Practice Positive Thinking. Think about what you want to accomplish. Begin each day by visualizing the end result of your efforts. Imagine yourself healthier, happier, and more confident.
- Keep a diary of your efforts. Think about how you succeeded each day and write down a goal for tomorrow. This will keep you thinking about the future and focused on the positives. Don't beat yourself up for failures. Failure is a part of the process and we all make mistakes. If you lose self-control, take it as a learning experience and think about how to act differently next time.
I'll end by reposting something I did on the 16th of December 2013 titled take control of your actions.
Very often, we find ourselves acting in such a way, projecting ourselves as being something we are not, only in a desperate bid to impress someone. Do you realise that by trying to take control of another person, you are actually exposing your own weakness? By trying to swagger and force a person to think of you as you need him to you are needlessly exposing your weakness and thus sabotaging your position. In such a situation, the person you are trying to impress will simply be in command of you. The minute you want something from someone, you automatically assume a weaker position.
Understand then that the more you crave for a person's good opinion or attention, the less likelihood of your ever receiving it.
The following actions will surely work against you in any situation:
- Going out of your way to impress someone.
- Falling all over someone trying to curry favour.
- Making meaningless small talk just to be heard.
- Trying to be overly concerned about the person's health and well being.
- Hanging on to the person if he was angry or upset with you.
- Trying to win the person's approval at all cost.
- Constantly being on the defensive and trying to give explanations for every action.
- Indulging in vacant or harmful gossips.
- Always trying to say only nice things to someone though it is actually not your real opinion about the person.
The solution? Try to think before you talk. There will be less chance of sabotaging your position.
Do you feel a certain fear mounting within you? Is that why you fawn, try to impress and in general blabber nonsense? Ah! Then control yourself.
It is better to be a silent listener than to be someone who will make a fool of himself by indulging in all the above actions!
And that's it for our character count series today lovelies! Thoughts?