Wednesday, 21 January 2015

COHABITING

The weather where I am is crazy!! I mean crazy.  The way I dress now,  one would think I were in Russia and each time I go to bed,  one thing comes to mind; weather for two.

I would give anything to spoon with a guy all night buy nah! I'd rather cover myself with the the blood of Jesus in addition to my duvet.

Co-habiting is also known as "couple's life"  in Nigeria. When I was in university, the pattern was very predictable.  The love birds few weeks into the relationship would start spending nights together then  either the girl would drop her bra,  the next day it's her hairbrush,  the next her top till she moves in finally.

Most of my relationships were LDR but the guy I dated in my school knew my stand because I told him point blank that I would have none of that. The highest we did was spend the night together.

The truth is over the years,  I've talked to lots of guys and I asked them if they'll eventually marry that girl they are cohabiting with and lovelies,  99%  gave me an emphatic NO and the premise is "why buy the cow when I can have the milk for free?".

As much as we might like to brand them heartless,  statistics have shown that most times,  it is we the female that will always lose out (aren't we mostly disadvantaged when it comes to most of these issues anyways?) so why not use your head and avoid becoming an addition to that statistics??

I honestly do not know what advantage(s)  lie in cohabiting because most times,  the girl has to cook,  clean etc and the only thing the guy might have to offer is maybe free house,  stipends and sex which most times would be forced whether she feels like it or not and for someone like me who has scoin scoin,  we go fight tire because I can't be performing wife duties for a boyfi so I'd rather not engage in it to avoid stories that touch.

So now,  it's over  to you dear readers.  What are the advantages, disadvantages etc of cohabiting? Ever done it??

21 comments:

  1. Bia nne u no dey sleep ni?
    Cohabiting, hmmm funny you'll write about it cos just yesterday, hubby's friend came visiting and he's living with his "wife" to be. They are getting married in 4months time soooo it works for them.
    The highest I did while dating was spend weekends and sometimes up to a week or more if I'm free at that time.
    I also know someone else who did the whole cohabitation thing with her boo, theirs was kinda funny cos she actually had and maintained an apartment which was only used whenever they quarrel. They are married with a son now sooooo worked for them too...

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    1. Sleep is for the weak *bats eyelashes*
      It works for some but ehn, most times, it doesn't.
      See finish go dey too nah, abi?

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  2. I cohabited with my ex back in school for two years or is it that she cohabited with me sha. She broke up with my ass cos she wanted to get married and my ass wasn't ready for marriage since boys still dey hustle. I had future plans for her tho but she chose her path. Funny enough she never still marry sef. :D prior to the relationship I hated d idea of cohabiting wit ones partner ( I hate it more now ). But twas my best and last real relationship. I don't think I'd consider cohabiting until marriage but who knows tomorrow? Hehe #EndOfStory
























    #Mannie

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    1. Ehen so you too were among them?
      So sorry about the break up

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  3. Nne, please ensure that you wear warm clothing and you will be fine - achorom ka ife obuna me gi cha cha. Spoon with someone but with calculated risk (I'm joking Hun).

    Back to the topic - Re: cohabitation, I'm indifferent because at some point you Will have to be together ( that's if it works out - in the future). Let's put it this way, it works for some while it does not work but others but most people I know that cohabited in the past have broken up.

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    1. I wear warm clothing my dear and the spooning part, I still dey reason am.
      Yeah I know we'll be together eventually but till then, mbanu

      Delete
  4. Personally, I will never cohabit not for religious or moral reasons, but because I read somewhere that studies have shown that cohabiting couples are more likely to divorce after. Well I love ,my bf too much and I don't want us to ever separate after we get married so I'd rather just suffer the separation now....

    P.S. I know this is not the only reason people separate, but I want to put everything in our favour kwim?

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    1. I've come across that too Clara.
      Yes , I know right?

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  5. Its cool both way but as the proverb goes thus " too much of everything is bad". Depends on how long the relationship is and what u BH have aimed for in the relationship. Chikena. Ehehn! I have a question. Biko what is LDR?
    www.debrasmuse.com

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  6. I dont see my self living with anyone no matter how much i love you if we are not married. At least traditional marriage is good enough. Like you said dont be one of the statistics and am not trying to be one.
    www.thatnigeriangirl.net

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  7. Hey Big Sis!!! Mami, I cohabited with Mofaya before we got married...no big deal...all you need is understanding...I am an adult and he is an adult, we found a way to make it work cuz we really loved each other....

    Mami, I don't wanna believe you are going to Alaska!!!...lol...you are all covered up lately on Instagram...hehe

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    1. To madalla. I don't subscribe to it and it's such a biggie for me oh

      Thankfully, the cold has reduced

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  8. First thing is first. Please be prepared for long responses anytime you talk about dating, learning life lessons or just in general because I'm a chatterbox.

    Second, I did the cohabitation thing out of financial necessity. NEVER AGAIN. When it was time for me to break up and move on, it was like a divorce, the whole "this isn't yours, this is mine, I bought this, I brought this with me you didn't buy me this" crap. He was a jerk to me during moving day but I realize it was because his feelings are hurt because I left him (you know how guys are). I'm not like I gotta get married and all that but if there is kids involved or citizenship keeping me from
    Staying then he better marry me. The end. No excuses. I'm amazing and I have options. I don't have time to convince no one to marry me or spend 5 years doing so. You know what the special Olympics are when you see them. No one has to tell you. Same with the woman of your life. Men know it when they see it and it don't take a lifetime to see it.

    Anyway I digress.
    And lol @ cover myself with the blood of Jesus and my duvet. Girllll I probably need to do the same thing. I mean I don't have anyone around not because of the blood but because I simply have too much going on. Ok so that was my answer long winded albeit and I hope you enjoyed as much as I enjoyed your post.

    Xoxo,

    La Deutsche Diva
    http://ladeutschediva.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm loving this pretty and intelligent diva already.
      The whole this is my thing, that is yours is also a reason I can never cohabit.
      I love reading from you, don't go off on me anytime soon hun

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  9. I agree with Clara. Besides I have too much wahala so it is better I am married so that when my wahala starts he has no where to run....lol. Cohabit before marriage is as of now a no no, when I am even considering different rooms when I am married *coversmyeyes*. I said considering o....

    Http://journalofapetitediva.blogspot.com

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    1. I have no words for you yet *bats eyelashes*

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