Sunday, 8 February 2015

Familiarity breeds contempt??

Hiya lovelies?? Hope we had a fantastic weekend? Well mine was INEC training filled oh and it still continues today *wipes brow* but now that the elections have been postponed, Amaka isn't going anywhere.

The initial stages of a relationship (friendship, dating,  marriage etc) always sees the two people involved trying to get to know each other better,  after that we assume we know about the other person well and relax. This process of getting to know the other party can also be likened to getting familiar.

At first,  both parties are usually extremely careful as A would not want to piss B off,  we try to appear at our best,  in short we act like we are walking on pins and stepping too much will hurt.
After a while,  the uncertainty might or might not wear off and we switch back to our default settings ; the initial respect might be lost at this stage and what usually follows next is "I allowed you too close", "familiarity breeds contempt ", etc.

Well,  I do not think familiarity breeds contempt,  I think it is lack of boundaries that breeds contempt.
I like to draw boundaries, my best friend knows this. I do not assume that because she is my bestie,  we can take each other for granted,  no. When we fail to set and spell boundaries,  we create unnecessary problems.

To avoid the contempt that sets in when you become too familiar,  do not take things for granted,  do not take liberty in the way you interact with people,  do not stop being polite,  avoid crude jokes and remember, always set boundaries. That way everyone stays happy.

16 comments:

  1. In addition to boundaries there should also be respect and understanding. It's inevitable that people will rub each other the wrong way from time to time but if there's enough trust and good faith then there is an understanding that any issues have arisen out of malice or manipulation. If your 'friend' is trying to hurt or humiliate you then you don't need a therapist to tell you that is no friend!

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    1. True that. Friends don't humiliate each other.

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    2. mutual respect. be it in friendship, relationships or situationships is the key! I call my bestie an idjiot all the time but she knows I would never 'really' insult her.
      Hiya baby! how are you?

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  2. When I first met the hubster and we were still getting to know ourselves, whenever he said something funny, I'll laugh and say omg you're such a fooooooool... it was normal to call my close friends all sorta names and I mindlessly wanted to do same to my hubby. He wasted no time in telling me I could call him any other name but not fool. I took note and till today the word fool has never once, mistakenly left my mouth. What am I saying? You respect people and their preferences. It is only when there's no respect, that familiarity would breed contempt.

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  3. Peeps in....oya na!!!!great post#shiinesteeth#

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    1. Yayyyy see who visited us today!! Welcome darling

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  4. true that. one needs to draw boundaries in any sorta relationship.


















    #Mannie

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  5. What an eventful day you have had! Familiarity breeds contempt depending on how you view in. In the initial stages of a relationship/friendship/marriage, people do not show you who they really are, but you find out as the relationship progresses. I'm order to regain that little ounce of respect, a little distance is required!

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  6. Let's not get it wrong, familiarity does not bring contempt,it is too much familiarity that does....by the time we set boundaries,we're not being too unnecessarily familiar with the person. I'm a free person, I play with everyone around me...guys that are 3,4,5 years or more younger,but I won't allow any one of them disrespect my personality because I set my boundaries,I won't allow anyone take me for granted because I'm cool and quiet. ..

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