Monday, 9 February 2015

Space in a relationship: healthy or not?

It is not uncommon to want to spend every single time with your partner especially if you two are in the early stages of the relationship. While this is normal,  the truth is if care is not taken,  one partner may feel choked. I've been there before.

Good morning lovelies, hope our weekend went smoothly??

I used to date a guy when I was in university and we were always together for at least 18 hours everyday. Initially, I was enjoying the attention and the times we used to spend together but after few months,  it started getting to me.  I mean I couldn't even hang out with my friends again!

Lovelies, in my opinion,  space is very healthy in a relationship but the mistake most people make is that they think asking for space in a relationship means the asking partner wants out.  No that is wrong! Prior to your relationship, both of you were separate individuals, you had your hobbies,  you had your need for me time where you could reminisce, reflect and plan ( two heads are better than one but sometimes you need to plan alone), in fact space helps couples to grow.

Ladies instead of whining about the fact that the boyfi is always watching football,  he does not have your time,  etc,  why not use the time he uses to watch football to hang out with the girls or do your manicure or bake??

Remember,  a good relationship breeds independence and not codependence.

20 comments:

  1. You have such an interesting blog. Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed reading your posts. All the best for your future blogging journey.

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    1. Thanks for the kind words Stidham and thanks for visiting.

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    2. Shridhar* auto correct is a biatch.

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  2. Wow, 18 hours everyday! Lol, I remember when I used to spend 24 hours with my ex everyday. Distance is very important for the following reasons: being too familiar with someone makes you lose your value, your social life suffers a lot, you neglect other important areas of your life, etc

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    1. Like you guys live together or what?
      You try oh my dear.

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    2. No we didn't but I spent a massive chunk of my time with him lol. Even husband and wife no set stay 24/7

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  3. I totally agree. I love you BF but i was an individual before i met you. I love our time together but i'd still like to have a life. Teinks

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  4. Space is good but if you're thrown together inadvertently with a loved one for long periods and that makes you uncomfortable it is worth reconsidering whether is a future for that relationship. There is a distinction between not wanting to be have constant interference and wanting to get as far away from someone as possible.

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    1. By space I don't mean not wanting to be with your partner oh.
      I love your intelligence Cyclone.

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  5. That's really true. Space is good in a rship, you know if u truely in love.

    Pamscrib.blogspot.com

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  6. I think It's best to create the space from the word go! Don't allow attention seeking to rob you off your attention for other equally important things. By the time you asked for it....it will be misunderstood for a breakup..space is very necessary o,Chai, I can't even imagine myself being choked up!!!

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  7. I second ur opinion Amaka. I love my space sometimes. slept off while reading this post last night.

















    #Mannie

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