Friday, 13 March 2015

I don't even know where to start from but I have to.

On Monday, I was mugged right in front of my school at about 8.45pm and it was at machete point. I fell into a ditch along the line and I sustained serious injuries; I've not been able to use my left hand but I'm getting better.

The crux of the matter is I will be off the internet for a long while...well, I am not trying to be selfish here but the trauma all correspondence should be forwarded to my email

Monday, 9 March 2015

Jealousy part 2

Hiya lovelies... Thank God it's Monday *bats eyelashes* oya if you're happy it's Monday do like this \_/.. Hehehe see I'm excited oh,  because I have say three months to the end of my service year so I need the days to roll by fast.

Today we would be continuing the series on jealousy and if you missed last week's,  click here.

2. Jealousy in friendship.
Aha!  Here we are. When we say jealousy,  here is what comes to mind readily; two people in a relationship,  often a romantic relationship.

I've heard it over and over again that it is normal to exhibit a lil jealousy in a relationship but since jealousy is a negative emotion and like Napoleon Hill stated "the presence of a single negative in your conscious mind is sufficient to destroy all the change of constructive aid from your subconscious mind",  there are 1001 ways to show that you care other than exhibiting jealousy.

Without trying to brag or sound modest,  I honestly can't remember exhibiting jealousy in all my relationships, past or present.. It doesn't work for me.

I had a close pal whose boyfi banned her from having body contact with a guy (hugging,  shaking etc). She didn't have a life as he was practically everywhere she was,  the only time she could breathe was when she was sleeping and each time I told her to break up with him as he was destroying her life,  she be like she has put in many hours of sex so she can't walk away *sigh*. I think he knew I didn't like him so he told her I was a bad influence.. I'm digressing here.

Snooping, keeping tabs on your partner's movement will only give you high blood pressure my dear! Why date someone you do not trust in the first place??

A dangerous form of jealousy in relationships is morbid jealousy in which the object of contention is sexual infidelity, with no claims 99% of the time (imagine!). Here one partner holds the delusion that their partner is unfaithful. People who suffer from morbid jealousy stalk their partner and forms of morbid jealousy are obsession and delusion.

Till next week when we conclude the jealousy post,  remember that jealousy is not a form of affection, don't be deceived!!

Saturday, 7 March 2015


Inakwana?? Yup, yup, means good morning.. You see lovelies, I'm perfecting my hausa everyday and I'm excited. Hope last night's turning up turned out fine?? (some simple tongue twister there). 

Today,  we'll be considering some words used interchangeably that are wrong. Really, I cringe when I hear people say them and for the next couple of weeks, we would trash them. 

1. Bowl and bowel. 

Bowl is a round deep dish used for food or liquid. 
Bowel is the part of the alimentary canal below the stomach ie the intestine. 

Please there is nothing like Pass me the bowel, the correct form is pass me the bowl. 

2. Afford and avoid. 
Now I don't know whether it is due to mother tongue interference that people use afford for avoid but for the purpose of clarity, note that they mean different things. 

Afford: To manage or bear without disadvantage or risk to one self (the context I'm referring to). 
Avoid: To keep away from or stop one self from doing something. 

So saying "I cannot avoid to lose"  is wrong,  the correct form is "I cannot afford to lose". 

3. Feasible and visible. 
*rubs palms together* This one though!! 

Feasible means something likely or probable. 
Visible means able to be seen or understood. 

This error is mostly made by yoruba people (no offence oh) and it grates on my ears when people say "it is not visible to fix a meeting for 6am" when they mean feasible

That's it for today lovelies. Hope we learnt something new?? 
Till our next class,  Besos. 

Friday, 6 March 2015


Yup Yup,  Thank God it's the freaking end of the week... Hiya lovelies???  I'm excited for two reasons today.  First it's my darling Esther's birthday and I'm happy!!!

 She is one blogger who is very intelligent and a million shades of amazing. I know I'm not in Lagos but keep my own goody bag oh and I wish you the best this new age has to offer.
Well,  the second reason is I'm excited because it feels good to be.

So y'all dodged last week's riddle abi? Issokai,  I'm back and here we go.

Pretty simple innit?? 

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Service to humanity

I remember the way I used to look at youth corps members as demi gods when I was in secondary school, I mean I couldn't just wait to wear that khaki but Unfortunately when I was mobilized due to some reasons the khaki was no longer "shacking" me but nonetheless, I made up my mind to serve dutifully wherever I was posted to so when I got the opportunity to help inaugurate press club in one of the secondary schools in Sokoto, I was more than willing to be part of the team. Hiya lovelies!!

We got into Shehu Shagari College of education staff school as early as 7am since the inauguration was going to be on the assembly ground and seeing the students file out and going through the routine of assembly took me back to my secondary school days and I had to admit within me that I miss my teenage days. 

After the national anthem we proceeded to the business of the day and I was so glad to see students ready to learn because the stereotype is that Northerners are dull but after testing one or two students, we went round the classes and the students were more than excited to be around us. 

Someone might be wondering why I'm reporting this,  well,  first, I'm more than excited about press club; I developed every writing skill I have today there. I remember I used to see my English mistress as mean and wicked but looking back,  I'm very grateful so I always strive to groom young talents the way someone guided me aright. 
Secondly, I'm a youth corps member and there are many projects you can engage in to impact your home community. Now this is not my personal project but I'm most grateful to volunteer my time. 
I know many corpers who call me names like ITK and ask me if NYSC is my father's property the way I always want to work in my cds,  well,  NYSC is not my father's property but I hate to be passive wherever I am. The truth is if you can't go the extra mile and participate in activities now that you're serving your father land,  when you start working you can't be dedicated then and like I say,  try to brighten up the corner where you are because I'm miles away from SSCOE staff school but the smiles on the faces of the students and the way they were asking "aunty when will you come back" is still lingering! 

P. S Today is one of my blogger friend's birthday, kindly click Here to wish her a happy birthday. 

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Relationship red flags.

Hiya lovelies... Hope it's not raining cats and and dogs in other parts of Nigeria because I hear it's been pouring like mad.. Well, it's it's still harmattan here oh but I guess I'm getting used to the chilly weather.

Well,  in other news,  one girl moved out of my room and another is due to move in today but it's not yet uhuru but I'll save the rant for later.

To the business of the day,  we all know that not all relationships lead to the altar but then,  even when it's not altar bound,  there are some relationships that are clearly headed towards the doldrums but we choose to ignore the red flags and when the the unpalatable happens,  I hear stuffs like "I knew it wasn't going to work but I wanted to give it a try" really???

So today we'll be considering those red flags that we've choose to turn a blind eye to overtime. Feel free to add more in the comment section.

  1. Not wanting to be be seen with you in public: Like seriously??  I once met this dude who was like he wants me to be his girl friend but we shouldn't be seen together in public to avoid gossip and all and I started grinding my teeth and was like really??  You see,  I like drama sometimes because when life is too quiet, it becomes becomes boring. 
  2. Only taking you to a friend's place: OK,  I started seeing some dude sometimes in the past and he would do the visiting and we would spend the number of hours we want to spend in his car talking. Initially, I didn't mind because I stay in the corpers lodge and my roomies act like there is bomb in their head so I hardly invite male visitors inside my room but being the talkative that I am,  after his third visit,  I asked him when he was going to take me to his place (he wasn't forth coming so I helped him) and he started some cock and bull tale about how h still stay with his parents (smh) and how the culture is here and really I wasn't angry but at that point, I knew I had to use my tongue to count my teeth. 
  3. Hanging out with you in places like hotels hotel: so still on the dude from #1, he was asking me if I knew any hotel we could go to when we want to have a "nice time" and my head started spinning. I was like "do I look like a whore?" and what kind of nice time do you think you can have in the hotel other than short time??? Because I knew quite alright that he wasn't going there to pamper me and all. 
  4. Lack of communication: I broke up with my ex in January, the road to the break up was a very painful one (I'll address lessons from it soon) and tell you what?  The last straw was the Lack of communication. At some point,  we'll be holding a conversation and I will be the only one talking and I'll be like bae this is a dialogue not a monologue and it started going down and down until he stopped calling or texting.  Fine, I continued but communication is a two way traffic and honestly,  when your partner can go for days without talking to you,  then there is no point deceiving yourself that you're in a relationship. 
  5. Lack of trust: I know of a dude that doesn't trust his girl one bit!!  He used to monitor her social media account and if she talks to any dude,  he calls her a flirt and yet, she didn't see it as a problem. You see,  people who have trust issues do not trust themselves either.  They may be struggling with guilt from the past and so they take it out on people.  If there is no trust in a relationship, then what are you two doing together?? 
  6. Obssessive behaviour: I hate being "policed". I can't imagine my partner texting or calling me every five minutes to ask where I am,  who I'm with,  what I'm doing etc,  in fact it pisses me off. Abeg if your partner is like that,  run!! Yes, you might enjoy the attention initially but trust me,  with time,  you'll feel caged!  
  7. Feeling of insecurity: Yes,  some of us are insecure about one or two things but if you are really bent on it, talk to your partner and ask for help instead of taking it out on your innocent partner and thinking that every pm or dp she puts up is subtly referring to you. 
TThe red flags are not limited to these but please I beg of us,  love is not blind!!  It's time to stop viewing life with rose coloured shades that blinds us from reality!  

Monday, 2 March 2015


Hallo lovelies, Happy new month once again and hope today is turning out fine?  I've been extremely busy at work but I had to sneak and put this up.

For the next couple of weeks,  I'd be running a series on the negative and positive emotions as outlined by Napoleon Hill and I'd start with jealousy even though I would be lifting the post I did here.

The urban dictionary defines jealousy as "the feeling of being threatened by a rival in a romantic relationship or losing something of value to another person which happens to be yours already".
I know from my little experience on earth that jealousy is not only linked to a romantic relationship like the urban dictionary stated so I checked further.

Merriam Webster dictionary defines jealousy as "being intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness,  a hostile attitude towards a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage".

Now, I'm very sure we all have experienced jealousy at some point in our lives, give or take but for the purpose of this post,  I'll like to categorise jealousy into three.

1. Jealousy in friendship.
Jealousy has the power to ruin a friendship if not kept in check.
I remember when I was in  University, I had this particular "friend"  who was consumed by the green eyed monster. If I bought a new dress,  she'll buy two, same with shoes,  etc. It seemed funny to me because she was in a rat race with herself and not me and I really felt bad for her but hey!! *shrugs*.

The truth is that y'all can bear witness to the fact that even the best of friends can get jealous of each other at times,  especially if they are both going after similar things in life.  I've been there and I'm sure you have too but the good news is that you have to realise that you are two separate individuals who will each make his or her own way even if you have the same goals im mind after all the sky is wide for all birds to fly,  and even the Bible said "I returned and saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise or riches to men of understanding, nor favour to men of skill but time and chance happeneth to them all" Ecclesiastes 9 vs 12.

Allowing jealousy to seep too far into your mind and heart will only rob you of happiness and if you look at it,  most times when we feel jealous, self esteem is involved as poor self esteem is the chief cause of jealous, so instead of getting jealous of your friend's achievements, why not use it as an inspiration to having a better life?

 To be continued.

Sunday, 1 March 2015

Hello March

Wow,  I'm amazed as I type this.. Is it me or is the year really fast?? Was it not just yesterday we wished ourselves Happy new year? Well,  thanks be to God who has spared our lives thus far.

This new month of March,  we shall all experience break through in all spheres of our lives in Jesus name!!

It's six month since I relocated to northern Nigeria and each time I look back,  I'm usually awed and thankful.

The weather is still some how as the harmattan has not stopped but that's what we get for being in the desert.

In my place of primary assignment,  it's quite challanging especially when I have to explain topics like electromotive force and the likes because of the language barrier but I'm doing my best even though it's not so encouraging.

I have 5 months to go and indeed,  I'm really maximizing it and trust me,  Sokoto is not that bad.