Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Once I loved you.

I want to apologise for my off and on updates; initially I was torn between closing the blog down and continuing but I asked myself why I started blogging so I decided to hold on. My decision not to monetize the blog arose from the fact that I started this because I needed an outlet. Yes,  I've gotten it but I need more. Sometimes I wish I were blogging anonymously because I have so much burning within me,  maybe I'm a coward for not writing it like it's hot,  but on the other hand,  maybe I'm not after all would be employers Google prospective employees these days so one has to be mindful.

I've been slipping into mini depression these past weeks but nobody knows because I try to be the cheerful me on the outside but the battles I'm fighting is though..  Anyways why did I open blogger today self??

Sometimes something just wedges whatever it is between good and near perfect relationships you begin to question yourself what went wrong because in fact it happens so fast you don't even know where or when it started going wrong.

Yes,  I decided not to date casually during my nysc days but alas! Fate had something in stock for me and what's more? I fell in love. I can count how many people I've loved so I was sure of it when I was diving in body, spirit and soul. I'm not naturally a good talker if we're meeting for the first time but it was O so perfect with you. It was not about the German juice, no. Towards the end of April  I was very sad as I knew that soon distance would set in but I held on still to fragments of hope then I went on official assignment and when I came back, I lost my relationship.

I was stunned at first, then the void set it. Once or twice I tried to contact you on bbm but nothing. At that point I knew it was over and I wiped every memory of you and bam! You've started calling me now and then,  4 months after. It's now I even feel the hurt more because we never talked about it,  we just walked away.. Maybe it wasn't worth fighting for anyway but you know what they say? There are no guarantees in life,  just promises and whispers.

From yesterday, I am to learn
For tomorrow to be good
If in my past, remain
If you must remember me in your memory
If in my future,  don't you come
Not as a friend
Not as a lover
To drag me back
To a past I must move away from
You always will I remember
You always I treasure somewhere in me
Because a period with you
I learnt to face the rhythm of emotions
A time once I loved you
And love vanishes not
So be content with a memory
That once I loved you
No matter the change. 

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

How fly are you??

Sometimes last year,  I did a post on Internet slangs, but the truth is that slangs evolve, new ones are flying around everyday.

At some point,  everywhere I turn to on the Internet, I see something like "you've got no chill" and I'm like hian!! So today, we'll be looking at an updated list.

1. Bae
Pharrell made use of this word in his song "some get it bae" and since then,  it stuck.
I know "babe"  is an endearing term and I need you to imagine how shocked I was when I started seeing "bae", as someone who is anti abbreviation, I used to take extreme exception to being called bae but sometimes you just have to join the crew and boo is bae #okbye.

2. Thot
You see,  when I say I am anti abbreviation, sheybi I'll say Thot is the short form of thought?? Or rather used to be?? Now it means "that ho over there".

3. Shade
Yes,  I used to see this throwing of shade term on instagram a lot too and now I know it means "to insult subtly".

4. Swerve
When you say "swerve", it means a whole lot of things,  but most often, it is used to tell someone to go away.

5. Slay
It is more of a fashion term but generally, when you are said to slay something, it means you are at the top of your game.

6. Fleek.
Aha!!  This became popular when some lady uploaded a video on YouTube and said "my eyebrows are on fleek" and bam! 
When something is on fleek,  it looks oh so perfect. 

7. TBT 

I first saw this on instagram also and was like oho!
Basically, every Thursday, instagram and other social media users upload pictures from way back. TBT means "throw back Thursday".

8. AF
I started paying more attention to this when everybody on my bbm was using it.  It means "as fcvk". 

9. No chill. 
Chill pill I know, chill out I know but no chill?? 
Anyway someone is said to have no chill when they go absolutely all out on something or someone.

Monday, 17 August 2015

Online relationships

Have you ever developed strong feelings for a guy/girl but you’ve never met him/her? Never talked to him/her on the phone? Never skyped with him/her?

Today we’ll be looking at online relationships. Materials / content are from the internet.
Wikipedia  defines an online relationship as an interpersonal relationship between people who have met online and in many cases know each other only via the internet. This relationship can be romantic, platonic or even based on business affairs.
People no longer need to search on the street to find casual relationship, they can find them online.

An online relationship is tricky as it provides the opportunity for misrepresentation particularly in the early stages of a relationship when commitment is low and self representation and enhancement agenda are high but it isn’t impossible.

By communicating regularly, being honest and making time to really get to know each other, an online relationship can grow.

When going into an online relationship, make sure to do the following.

- Make sure the site is legitimate
- Check the site’s privacy setting
- Protect your identity. Do not give your cell phone number till you feel completely comfortable
- Stay anonymous until you feel safe
- Trust your guts
- Never send money
- Avoid getting too personal too early
- Report threats to law enforcement
- Do set aside time each day to talk on the phone, email, skype or chat online with your partner and make sure it’s a time when you both will not be interrupted
- Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not just so the other person will like you more
- Do remember important dates in your new partner’s life, send ecards on birthdays and remember to congratulate them on important events like job promotion, football team’s win, etc

With time, relationships get boring, whether real or virtual, to stop an online relationship from being boring,
- Include each other in your day to day lives and activities as much as possible
- Make the conversation personal
- Be spontaneous and creative
- Be cautious
- Discuss the future

Warning signs
- Extravagant stories: eg I'm a model, a flight attendant and in medical school. Like seriously? Only you,  three things at a time?

- Will never video chat: what are they afraid of?

- No updated pictures: same profile picture for a long time without changing it. Common! Is your face that bad?

- Limited number of pictures: you don’t have to beg before he/she sends pictures. Have you been dating and you’ve got just three pictures of your partner? That’s not good enough.
Ok lemme tell y'all about Wale and I. We met on Twitter, he requested I added him on bbm and I did. For a long time I forgot he was on my bbm till towards late last year and we got talking. He said he likes me blah blah blah, BUT he never used his picture as dp. I didn't even mind until I asked and he told me that when we see,  I'll know what looks like. Seriously??  Ok stopped disturbing him but he started disturbing me to come and see him from Sokoto, I told him after nysc when I'm back to the west, we'll see.
After nysc, he was on my neck to come and I told him to send his picture too (not like I was going to go anyway) and he was like who have I been talking to that I started asking suddenly (so because I kept mute, I have no mind of my own?) anyway after much going back and forth, he said he'll send it and I made up my mind I won't ask,  after like 2 weeks he sent it. Really?? After close to a year,  I have to beg to see your picture? Mtschew. I knew that was a red flag and told him nothing can work out between us.

- No phone calls: this is one of the red warning signs in a relationship, virtual or real. Why would my partner not want to hear my voice? Heaven knows I don’t hesitate to call it quits once we start to have call issues.

- Provide limited information: we are dating for deuces sake! I should know some vital things about you.

- No key information; if you’re in a relationship and your partner is not giving up the goods on what fly really feels like, then it really isn’t a relationship.

- Inconsistent stories: little inconsistencies can add up to lies!

Have you ever been in an online relationship or catfished in one?

Thursday, 13 August 2015

Selective honesty

One of the foundations on which a long lasting relationship is built is honesty but to be candid  the way people act these days ehn! One might have to have a rethink.

I have a past (heck we all do) but boy,  I was very active. When I was serving,  I met a dude,  X.  I can't remember how we met but I was on the road when I got this call and he was like I gave him my digits a while ago but he was too busy blah blah blah, anyways we started hanging out often but he was just there and one thing about me is if I don't like you from scratch,  I will not grow to like you; no,  I don't grow to like people. It's either a hit or miss from day one (strange huh?). We were sha going out and I even had free access to his house to the point he wanted to give me the spare key but I said no!
Along the line, I met E and we hit it off almost immediately. Coincidentally, X and E stay in the same hood but I was less bothered though. One day,  E and I got talking and I told him I don't have a past but I mentioned X and fiam, he started acting one kind and I'm like ogini di? Did we have a anything? I'm just telling you so you'll know.

I've seen instances where guys especially pull out of a budding relationship because of a lady's history with the opposite sex.  As for me Seyon,  I only have one ex. Shikena magana! I no fit talk plenty when I say I have xyz number of exes because when say so,  the next assumption is that you had something intimate with all of them. As for me bruh, my legs are tied like a mermaid *tsk tsk*

I'm not saying you should not be honest oh but with the way guys go on and on about this thing,  use your tongue to count your teeth and not lie but withhold the truth till you meet someone who can deal with it after all this is Africa where it's a man's world and the ladies are expected to play the fool but anyway, since the hunter has learnt how to shoot without missing,  the bird has learnt how to fly without perching. 

Monday, 10 August 2015

Categories of men who cannot be in a relationship.

1. Men who are looking for their mother
These men are looking to be fed,  having their cleaning done.
2. Men who are too absorbed in themselves
It's their life,  their hobbies,  their friends,  their ambitions,  their children, their....... Somehow their women doesn't seem to come into the equation.
3. Men who are too on a mission
The focus and dedication of a man on a mission is an amazing sight.  Sometimes,  it just goes too far.  Sometimes the climber climbs one too many mountains and kills the relationship in the process. Sometimes the businessman goes on one too many trips abroad and loses sight of home.  Men need to find a balance on this.
4. Men who see themselves as alpha
These are the ones that cause so much pain.  They are men who have a misplaced idea about men needing to be the alpha males. They chase and conquer women to show how great they are.  In the process that just show how lacking they are in any emotion,  understanding or even humanity. They are no better than dogs even if on the surface they appear to know what women want.
5. Men who just want a pal
These are the sad ones who spend their lives going to the pub or the football game.  They remember the great times with their pals when they were young and just want it to continue.
Occasionally it works when one of the women becomes one of the lads,  but this never lasts then the man is left wondering what happened.
Sometimes  men just need to realize they need to grow up.
6. Men who are afraid of intimacy
Men often have difficulty dealing with intimacy, particularly when a relationship appears to be out of their control.  These men also have difficulty acknowledging that they have difficulty dealing with intimacy.  They usually sublimate the emotions into actions that they can understand. This can show itself as aggression or even abuse,  but generally it just results in sullenness and withdrawal.
Men who have this difficulty need help to overcome their fear and learn to become a normal part of the world.
7. Men who want their lost youth
This shows itself classically in the mid life crisis.  Things were great when they were young or so they remember.  Life was free and easy,  there were no pressure,  no mortgages.  Their women were beautiful and nubile in the time before children..  They have affairs trying to reach their long lost Nirvana. In the process they throw everything away.  It is possible however to bring your youth into your present life by changing your outlook.
8. Men who want to control
These are men who can't love,  who just never seem to get over the temper tantrums of their childhood.  They want everything and they want it now.  No one is going to stand on their way. Nothing is good enough for them.
They need to open their eyes and see that there is a big wide world out there that doesn't revolve around them.
9. Men who lack a sense of polarity
These are new men who feel compassion  for their women and want to spend their lives honoring and worshipping them.  There's nothing wrong with this as such but the problem  comes when their masculinity disappears on the process.
They go into their feminine and lose their sense of being a man.  They seek equality with their woman and end up being the same.  The polarity disappears and the relationship becomes empty.
10. Men who are just too macho
They just get so tied up with being a man.  They look good,  they drive a great car and they just expect women to fall over themselves to get to them.  Well,  they do that at first.  Then they find that there's nothing there,  there's no substance,  no real man at all.  Don't get caught on this trap,  look at yourself long and slow and look for what a woman sees in you.
Men,  take care, become aware of who you are and how women see you. Don't become one of the men who can't love a woman,  be strong, be present and find love.

Material was from www.grahamreidphoenix.com and was first blogged on the 27th of July, 2014.

Saturday, 8 August 2015

Grammar 101

Today we'll be continuing our cognates lesson.
1. Fair and fare
A fair is an exhibition. Eg Every year,  our family goes to the fair. 
A fare is a fee you pay. Eg The fare to ride the bus is affordable. 

2. Farther and further 
Farther has to do with distance. Eg How much farther is Bauchi? 
Further means additional or more. Eg Give me further information. 

3. Faze and phase 
To faze is to distress or disturb. Eg The scrutiny of the media didn't faze her. 
A phase is a period of development or a period of time in a cycle of events. Eg He went through a phase when he was on 1-0-0.

4. Few and less. 
Few is used when talking about things that can be counted. Eg Few vehicles ply this route. 
Less is used when talking about things that cannot be counted. Eg He shows less concern. 

5. Figuratively and literally. 
Figuratively refers to the metaphoric speech,  not realistic or exact Eg I died laughing is figurative. 
Literally refers to realistic or exact speech Eg I am literally crying means I am crying for real (or shedding crocodile tears). 

6. Flammable and inflammable. 
These two words both mean easily set on fire.  However,  flammable is now used as a warning yo avoid misinterpreting the prefix - in as negative. 

7. Flare and flair. 
Flare is to increase gently,  burn brightly or something that provides a bright flame. 
Flair refers to a sense of style or a talent. Eg I have a flair for cooking. 

8. Forth and fourth. 
Forth means forward from this point Eg He moved forth without looking back. 
Fourth indicates an object that comes between number 3 and number 5.

9. Foul and fowl. 
Foul can be offensive,  rotten or unfavourable ; foul language, foul meat, foul weather. 
Fowl refers to birds,  especially domestic ones Eg chicken,  duck. 

10. Forbear and forebear 
Forbear means to refrain from. 
A forebear is an ancestor or forefather. 

Friday, 7 August 2015

Transactional relationship.

Holla lovies and dovies... How has our week been so far? Well, mine has been one kind but we must give thanks.

All of us are in some form of relationship because we are social animals but today, we're in a relationship can mean 1001 and one things one of them being transactional relationship.

A transaction involves something being exchanged for something.
It's common to see people these days trading all sort of services for either money or something else. For example some people will say no sex until you buy me that range  or for others,  the amount they get is commensurate to their sexual performance... Oh well,  while we might thing sex is the perfect example here,  I'll like to say all of us one way or the other are guilty. If my parents give me cash and all,  I do the house chores gladly but if I know there's no motivation, I'll be foot dragging. Who else is guilty of this?
Even in the blogging world and social media, you'll see comment for comment, like for like,  follow for follow... Is that not some form of transaction too??

Thursday, 6 August 2015

Lyrics of the day


Baby baby yeah are you listening...
Wondering where you've been all my life
I just started living
Oh baby,  are you listening?

When you say you love me
Know I love you more
And when you say you need me
Know I need you more
Boy I adore you, I adore you

Baby can you hear me?
When I'm crying out for you
I'm scared,  oh so scared
But when you're near me
I feel like I'm standing with an army
Of men armed with weapon,  hey oh

When you say you love me
Know I love you more
And when you say you need me
Know I need you more
Boy I adore you,I adore you

I love lying next to you
I could do this for eternity
You and me... We're meant to be
In holy matrimony
God knew exactly what he was doing
When he led me to you

When you say you love me
Know I love you more
And when you say you need me
Know I need you more
Boy I adore you.. I adore you... 

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Amazing uses for banana peel

*chop banana till you go yo!* I know that song is rubbish but I love it *covers face* why?  The why is that I love banana... I love it so much that I don't share my banana oh *bats eyelashes*
After earing the banana, I carefully throw away the peel to avoid tripping on it but over the weekend, I was whoring on Google as usual when I stumbled on this. Enjoy.

  1. As shoe Polish: Rub the peel over your shoes and you're good to go! 
  2. Rub them over your teeth to whiten them: use the inside to rub your teeth and leave for 2 minutes. Use toothbrush and toothpaste to brush normally to have that sparkling white teeth. 
  3. Meat tenderiser: all the cow leg lovers, oya oh!  Add banana peel to your meat and it will add just enough moisture to tenderise it. 
  4. Acne: banana peels rubbed on acne will help in the acne curing process. 
  5. Wipe away ink stains: remember when we were in primary school and our pen used to "float" and stain our hands? Or when we used to write anyhow and ink stains our hands?  Rubbing the stained  part with the inside of banana peel will make the stain disappear as the natural oil in the peel will attract the oil in the ink, weakening the pigment's bond with the skin for easy removal. 
  6. Soothe skin irritation: Rub moist banana peel on skin irritation and the acids, vitamins, and minerals in the skin will help yo Soothe away pains and itching. 
Wow,  wow!! Who knew? 

Tuesday, 4 August 2015


Hiya lovelies.. How has the week been so far?? Dang yesterday wasn't funny at all!! I just wanted to rest since I was tired but immediately I put my head on my desk, I just zoomed off oh *smh* you don't want to know the rest though.. Anyways straight to today's post.

I remember once upon a time, I used to change guys like diapers, why?? There was zero communication and instead of me to chill and look what the problem was,  I didn't. Oh those my needy days!!
You know this you meet someone and initially the communication is purfect but immediately you say yes,  it reduces and when you complain, all you get is "I'm busy"  and in my mind I be like wasn't your schedule the same initially??
Asides guys, there are some people who we check up on always but when you accuse them of not reciprocating,  you get "I'm busy".  Honestly I don't get it!  You're not too busy to eat,  go to the loo or even flirt but too busy to check up on those that matters?? Really??
Anyway, here is breaking news. I resume by 7am and close by 4pm and my workplace has a strict no phone policy during work hours but I still find time to check up on those that matter even though it's after work. Heck, a sms won't even take up to five minutes!! Well, I've come to a conclusion that there is no such thing as being too busy after all we all have what we are doing. The truth is we know those who are important and one way or the other find a way to incorporate them into our busy schedules.


Monday, 3 August 2015

Lyrics of the day.


We never talked about it
But I hear the blame was mine
I'd called you up to say I'm sorry
But I wouldn't wanna waste your time

Cause I love you but I can't take anymore
There's a look I can't describe in your eyes
We could try like we've tried before
Would you keep on telling me those lies

Do you remember?
Do you remember?

There seemed no way to make up
Because it seemed your mind was set
And the way you looked and told me
That's a look I know I'll never forget

You could've come over to my side
You could've let me know
You could've tried to see that distance between us
But it seemed too far for you to go

Do you remember?
Do you remember?

Through all of my life
Inspite of all the pain
You know people are funny sometimes
Cause they just can't wait to get hurt again

Do you remember?
Do you remember?

There are things we won't recall
And feelings we'll never find
It's taken so long to see it
Cause we never seemed to have the time

There was alway something more important to do
More important to say
But I love you wasn't one of those things
And now it's too late

Do you remember?
Do you remember?

Do you remember?
Tell me do you remember?
Tell me now,  tell me now
Tell me now, tell me now
Do you remember?

Do you? Do you? Do you? Do you?
Do you remember?
Do you remember?

Do you remember? Now it's over
Do you remember? Now it's over 

Saturday, 1 August 2015

Grammar 101

Hiya hiya!! Whataguan?? It's a beautiful day here and I'm excited... It's a new day, new month and a weekend so I get to rest a lot. Any plans for today? Any owambe?? Remember to send my own portion of the party rice oh.

So it's another Saturday and as usual, we'll be pressing on in our grammar lessons on cognates. Enjoy.

  1. Eg and ie: eg is a Latin abbreviation meaning for example while ie is a Latin abbreviation meaning that is to say. 
  2. Each other and one another: each other is used when only two objects are involved while one another is used in referring to more than two objects. 
  3. Each and every: both are singular distributive pronouns but each refer to a single individual in a group while every refers to all the members of a group inclusively. 
  4. Emigrant and immigrant: an emigrant is a person who leaves his native country to settle in another while an immigrant refers to a person who moves to a new country. 
  5. Eminent and imminent: eminent means if high rank, outstanding or prestigious while imminent means close to happening or near. 
  6. Everyone and every one: everyone means each person while every one refers to each thing or person individually. 
  7. Explicit and implicit: Explicit means clear and direct while implicit means indirectly with some parts understood. 
  8. Ethereal and ephemeral: Ethereal describes something that is light and intangible while ephemeral refers to anything lasting for a short period. 
  9. Entomology and etymology: Entomology is the study of insects while etymology is the study of history of words and where they come from. 
  10. Enervate and innervate: enervate is to weaken or destroy the vitality of while innervate means to supply with nerves or vitality. 
...... And  that's it for this beautiful Saturday morning. Remember to spread the word, tell your friends about this blog. X