Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Sleep on Latina...

Now, I'm beyond the initial shock  the denial, the tears, the denial.. I'm in the acceptance phase. I've accepted that we won't see you no more,  I've accepted that you're gone, gone to a better place.
In less than 30 days,  I've lost two people dear to me and this is the point where I'm not afraid to die, yes, life is ephemeral. While we can, we should do good and live everyday like it's our last.

Fading away like stars of the morning
Losing their sight in the glorious sun
Thus would we pass from the earth and its toiling
Only remembered by what we have done

Only remembered, only remembered
Only remembered by what we have done
Thus would we pass from the earth and its toiling
Only remembered by what we have done

Shall we be missed though by others succeeded
Reaping the fields we in the spring time have sown
Yes but the sowers must pay from their labours
Ever remembered by what they have done

Only the truth that in life we have spoken
Only the seed that on earth we have sown
These shall pass onward when we are forgotten
Fruits of the harvest and what we have done

Oh, when the saviour shall make up his jewels
When the bright crowns of rejoicing are won
Then shall his weary and faithful disciples
All be remembered by what they have done. 

Monday, 26 October 2015

Gone with the wind

I'm too teary eyed and devastated to type any thing right now but I just received a call and heard Lamina Temitope is gone. Just like that??
She was on her way to Sokoto where she is serving and died in an accident at Zamfara.

Death is just cruel. Tope, I've cried my eyes out. Balkis, just come back, I woke up by 2am to hear it's a dream, instead I saw your candlelight will be on Thursday. My junior wife, please come back!! 

Sunday, 25 October 2015

So much to be thankful for.

I'm just sitting on my bed and reflecting on my life. Earlier in the day, I went to my younger cousin's  school as today is visiting day and I saw the way the students sat outside the hall waiting for their loved ones; in the end, some parents will fail to show up and the affected students will definitely cry themselves to sleep tonight.

We really take many things for granted. The fact that you sleep and wake up isn't normal, neither is it your right. Do you take time to say "Father thank you"   when you wake up?  You go out and come back,  no scratch whatsoever, is it your making? 
As I reflect on my life, I'm nothing but thankful. I have course mates who are still doing their spill in school, I know peeps who died during our service year. I mean, I passed out out in July and I've collected salary for three months, is it my making?? I'm not where I thought I'll be but I don't hold any grudge against God, neither do I sit down everyday to moan my "plight". Do you have an attitude of thanksgiving?? If no, please cultivate it today and also join me in singing "we thank Thee" by Jim Reeves.. You can download it to get the tune. 

We thank Thee each morning for a new born day 
Where we may work the fields of new mown hay 
We thank Thee for the sunshine and air that we breathe 
We thank Thee 

We thank Thee for the rivers that run all day
We thank Thee for the little birds that sing away
We thank Thee for the trees and the deep blue sea 
Oh Lord, we thank Thee 

Oh yes,  we thank Thee Lord for every flower that blooms 
Birds that sing, fish that swim and the light of the moon 

We thank Thee everyday as we kneel and pray 
That we were born with eyes to see these things

We thank Thee for the fields where the clovers grow 
We thank Thee for the pastures where the castles may roam 
We thank Thee for thy love so pure and free 
Oh Lord we thank Thee 

Oh yes we thank Thee Lord for every flower that blooms 
Birds that sing, fish that swim and the light of the moon 

We thank Thee everyday as we kneel and pray
That we were born with eyes to see these things 

We thank Thee for the fields where the clovers grow 
We thank Thee for the pastures where the cattle may roam 
We thank Thee for thy love so pure and so free 
Oh Lord we thank Thee 

Saturday, 24 October 2015

Grammar 101

It's been really really long we did this. Apologies are in order my people, I'm not a run away lecturer, work has been overwhelming.

We are not through with cognates but in the next couple of weeks, we should be good to go. 

  • Kind of and sort of 
Avoid these expressions in the sense of somewhat, rather or a little. 
  • Knew and new 
Knew is the past tense of know while new means never used. 
  • Latter and later 
Later means afterwards while latter means the last of two things mentioned. 

  • Lay and lie 
Lay means to set or put down flat while lie means to rest or remain in a certain place. 
  • Lend, loan and borrow 
Lend means to temporarily give something to someone, a loan means something borrowed while to borrow is to receive something from someone temporarily. 
  • Lessen and lesson
Lessen means to decrease or make less while a lesson is something you learn. 
  • Lightening and lightning 
Lightening means to reduce the weight of while lightning refers to the electrical discharge in the sky. 
  • Loathe and loath 
Loathe means to detest or dislike greatly while loath means reluctant  unwilling. 

  • Loose and lose 
Loose is not tight, lose is to misplace and not be able to find. 

  • Liable and libel 
Liable means legally responsible for or subject to while libel means a slanderous statement that damages another person's reputation. 
  • Lead and led 
Lead can mean guide, be in charge of or a type of metallic element while led is the past tense of lead. 

  • Latent and patent 
Latent means present but not visible or active while patent means visible, active or obvious. 
Pick a number and use the cognates in sentences. 

Now that you have been mobilised

Hello lovelies, trust we had a great night rest? How is Saturday turning up coming?? I'm turning down oh as I need my sleep jare.
Okay, this is a  post in response to the questions several prospective otondos have been asking me about what to expect on camp; btw camp opens on Wednesday so here is wishing all of you safe trip to your various camps.

*bat eyelashes*

 I still remember vividly the day I got my call up letter and saw Sokoto, I was too shocked to cry, in fact I did not cry till three days after, any hoo, I'm sure y'all are through with the tears and ready to face the future. 
Now, here is a list of what you need and what you don't need on camp.

You'll need
  • extra packs of white shirt (I went with three packs)
  • extra white shorts
  • extra white socks with green and white at the top (plain white is not allowed)
  • toiletries
  • spoon
  • food flask
  • a fanny pack (popularly called waist pouch)
  • face wipes (the rigorous activities will make you sweat a lot)
  • packs of chewing gum (I needed it to stay alert)
  • stationery
  • a note
  • a power bank or extra battery if your battery is removable
  • earpiece
  • ipod (or any other music player)
  • make up
  • mosquito net (but if you were posted to Sokoto, don't bother, we slept on the floor)
  • milk, chocolate drink, cornflakes (well, I'll say don't bother too because I did not touch mine)
  • extra tennis shoes
  • buckets (don't bring from home oh, you'll buy on camp)
  • gum (for your documentation because the ones that have will be feeling fly)
  • bed spread + pillow case
  • three mufti (you might want to go to church or leave camp to use the atm plus after camp, you'll need them while doing your documentation before you travel)
  • flipflop
  • 16 passport sized photographs
  • your statement of result and call up letter
  • white hijab if you are a muslim sister (you can't use any other colour)
  • white cardigan (in case you feel cold)
  • condom (if you can't hold your body)
  • cash
  • Sunshade if you're going up north 
  • A good cream with sunscreen if you're going up north 
  • Water can 
  • Disinfectant 
  • Bleach and detergent plus sponge for washing your tennis 
  • Peg 
  • Two or three plastic hangers 
  • padlocks
 You do not need the following
  • a fork (they'll say it's a weapon)
  • very expensive phones
  • a camera (it might be seized from you but you'll get it on the last day)
  • stove or gas (you are not going there to cook)
  • canned food (no microwave oh)
  • knife
  • coloured socks
  • coloured footwears (except for use outside of the parade ground)
  • Iron 
  • Spray starch 
  • Noodles 

The truth is you need very minimal stuffs to take, the most important for me was money because I never stepped into the kitchen to queue for the apology of a meal we were being fed, learn how to manage your time, saed lectures were boring plus the skill acquisition was crap but make good use of it if they are serious in your state, join OBS (orientation broadcasting service), don't allow any soldier esp the parade commanders deceive you that he will influence your posting, they are liars, participate in sports (I learnt how to play badminton there), don't drink to stupor, don't have sex (you read that right oh, I did not kiss talk less of sex on camp besides ebola and std is real), make friends, don't love stupidly, don't pay to those video guys, most times your face won't even show and finally, don't escape parade like me *grinning*

Enjoy these three weeks

Wednesday, 21 October 2015

So what if I'm a lady and my partner is younger??

Hiya guys *waving around wildly* err, sometimes, I doubt my sanity though..
How did our day go?? Man, I don't understand if time flies because before I can say Jack, it's 9pm and I don't get to sleep till say 11pm for reasons I still don't understand. Before I blink, my alarm would go off at 5am and I have to start the routine again. It's draining I tell you but I told myself this blog must not die.
Ok, so since yesterday, this issue of girls dating or marrying a younger bloke has been ringing in my head for strange reasons. I wanted to blog about some other topic but this kept tugging at my heart so here we are.
Now, I'm not dating a younger guy, neither am I engaged to one and I'm not holding briefs for those who are but then,  I'm thinking aloud... Do we have to always follow the rules within the box?? I mean,  is there even a box?? We make rules and become slaves to things that are not worth it!
The stereotype in Africa is that the man must be older, if it's the other way then it reeks of desperation. Really??
I've dated two guys younger than me, and yes, I went into the relationship with my eyes wide open and in the know of their age and I don't regret the happy times we had.
I remember I had to answer questions like "how did you even meet him?"  Sugar, I walked into nursery school, I saw someone I liked and we started dating *rme*.. I'm dating a younger person because I want to, end of discussion.
I the end,  I ask myself if we ain't all pretenders.. We say we ain't judgmental but we scold people who walk this street. What is weird about dating a younger guy?? If I'm comfortable enough, why would I want to sacrifice my happiness on the altar of public opinion??
Please, older isn't mature, neither is younger naive. Wisdom is not a by product of experience ehn, sometimes, it could be elusive in nature.


Tuesday, 20 October 2015

The friend of my enemy is??

My service year was fraught with more downs than ups initially.. I've whined on this blog about it over time.. I had a cantankerous lodge mate that was hell bent on being my friend, she went as far as fighting anyone perceived to snatch me from her. Oh, she had a roommate and she showed the poor girl hell. Initially, I was indifferent about the poor roomie of hers, this girl will talk and talk and expect me to hate her roomie for no just cause. I had to tell her at some point, see you can't tell me who to be friends with. The roomie and I went on to be 5&6 and that's one of the best things Sokoto gave me.

When I was in the University,  I had this "friend" , note the quotation marks, that had a boyfriend who did everything to make her happy but she treated him like an outcast, eventually they broke up but I got to know from the dude.  Anyway,  I saw it coming.
The breakup was during the ASUU strike so when we resumed for our project defence,  the two man squad became a one man squad.  Since the dude didn't offend me,  we were still keeping in touch.
One fateful day,  he called me that he was in front of my college building, so I went out to meet him and we sat in his car gisting for a long time and I can be dramatic with my gesticulations. Somehow she got wind I was in her ex boyfi's car and I think she was watching from a distance. She later went on to tell a mutual friend to herself,  ex boyfi and me that since I knew she wasn't dating him anymore,  I should keep malice with him.  I just told her to grow up.
While growing up,  if one person picked on my circle of friends in high school,  the enemy automatically became mine  too but later events proved me wrong as the two people involved would reconcile without my knowledge, making me look like a fool.
The decision to make the enemy of your friend your enemy or friend is one that you should be cautious about.  If you can,  always listen to both sides of the story so as not to end up fighting a battle you know nothing about.
Recently, two people dear to me had a serious issue, I wasn't in the know initially but when I got wind of it, I was very sad and reached out to both of them, they were kinda adamant and I said, ok guys, we are all grown ups, I can't pick who you should be friends with but as for me, I treasure you too much to take sides or allow sentiments cloud my judgement and even though they are sworn enemies, I'm friends to both parties.
Besides,  adult mend fences while kids tear fences apart.

P. S... Err, so I think I'm back. Work has not been easy but I'm past the stage I was before so I practically enjoy my self these days. How have y'all been holding up??

Friday, 2 October 2015


Holla lovies.... How have we been?? I've missed y'all oh.. Glory, Bola, Chinco, Ugo, Nomso, my sakey, etc etc....
Today I'd like us to consider something some of us are guilty of.
Have you shut people our of your life because they just aren't good enough for you? Or have good people stayed away from you because your standards for friendship appears too high?

A perfectionist is someone who holds the underlying belief that perfection can be achieved and it should to be.
The perfectionist takes things to the extreme. Doing your best and being a perfectionist are two different things as one is balanced and the other is not. A perfectionist labour under the illusion that mistakes shouldn't be made.
How to spot the perfectionist
1. You are highly conscious and hyper critical of mistakes hence you have an extremely sharp eyes for details
2. You aim to be the best in everything you do, even if it is something that you have no interest in
3. You spend copious amount of time right to the last moment to perfect something
4. You get absolute ideals. There is only black and white, no Grey
5. You are the hardest critic of yourself
6. You mull over outcomes if they did not turn out as envisioned
7. You are defensive towards criticism and have a fear of failure because they suggest imperfections
8. You have only the end goal in mind
9. You have an all or nothing approach
10. You are very conscious of any situation which might give others the perception you are not perfect
Are there downsides of being a perfectionist? My cupcakes the answer is yes as perfectionism is a form of obsessive compulsive personality disorder. The effects include
1. Lower productivity
2. Procrastination
3. Myopia
4. Stagnation
5. Poor health and mental wellbeing
6. Suboptimal relationships

To stop the perfectionist mindset from taking over your life,
1. Redefine success: the fact is that few people ever succeed at being the best and even when a person does it, it is usually just a matter of time before someone comes along who will perform better. Success means doing your best, not outdoing someone else's.
2. Be realistic: your expectations should be equal to your abilities and limitations. Setting the bar too high for yourself can be a sign of egotism.
3. Lighten up: view your errors in a different light. Doing so will help you to see that making mistakes is simply part of the learning process.
4. Be aware of your motivation for perfection
5. Recognize that ideals are directions not absolutes
6. Respect and love yourself
7. Focus on the big picture
8. Delegate and let go
9. Celebrate the victories and progress made.

So I'll be MIA for a month or so. Don't worry, the boyfi isn't taking me to space to propose, I just need to stay off the Internet but all correspondence should be directed to