Tuesday, 20 October 2015

The friend of my enemy is??

My service year was fraught with more downs than ups initially.. I've whined on this blog about it over time.. I had a cantankerous lodge mate that was hell bent on being my friend, she went as far as fighting anyone perceived to snatch me from her. Oh, she had a roommate and she showed the poor girl hell. Initially, I was indifferent about the poor roomie of hers, this girl will talk and talk and expect me to hate her roomie for no just cause. I had to tell her at some point, see you can't tell me who to be friends with. The roomie and I went on to be 5&6 and that's one of the best things Sokoto gave me.


When I was in the University,  I had this "friend" , note the quotation marks, that had a boyfriend who did everything to make her happy but she treated him like an outcast, eventually they broke up but I got to know from the dude.  Anyway,  I saw it coming.
The breakup was during the ASUU strike so when we resumed for our project defence,  the two man squad became a one man squad.  Since the dude didn't offend me,  we were still keeping in touch.
One fateful day,  he called me that he was in front of my college building, so I went out to meet him and we sat in his car gisting for a long time and I can be dramatic with my gesticulations. Somehow she got wind I was in her ex boyfi's car and I think she was watching from a distance. She later went on to tell a mutual friend to herself,  ex boyfi and me that since I knew she wasn't dating him anymore,  I should keep malice with him.  I just told her to grow up.
While growing up,  if one person picked on my circle of friends in high school,  the enemy automatically became mine  too but later events proved me wrong as the two people involved would reconcile without my knowledge, making me look like a fool.
The decision to make the enemy of your friend your enemy or friend is one that you should be cautious about.  If you can,  always listen to both sides of the story so as not to end up fighting a battle you know nothing about.
Recently, two people dear to me had a serious issue, I wasn't in the know initially but when I got wind of it, I was very sad and reached out to both of them, they were kinda adamant and I said, ok guys, we are all grown ups, I can't pick who you should be friends with but as for me, I treasure you too much to take sides or allow sentiments cloud my judgement and even though they are sworn enemies, I'm friends to both parties.
Besides,  adult mend fences while kids tear fences apart.
Thoughts?

P. S... Err, so I think I'm back. Work has not been easy but I'm past the stage I was before so I practically enjoy my self these days. How have y'all been holding up??
Besos 

12 comments:

  1. Nice post amaka... I don't see anything wrong in been friends with my friend's enemy... Just thread carefully that's all.
    Pheezycorner.blogspot.com

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    1. Hey Fisayo!! How have you been?
      Thread carefully is the word bae

      Delete
  2. Its all depends on the nature of people that are involved. Couple with your relationship with your friend's enemy before they had problem.

    I think its all about wisdom.

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    1. Yeah, in the end, it boils down to wisdom.
      Thanks for stopping by Uthman.

      Delete
  3. ur last line about building and tearing fences said it all... i'mnot keeping malice wif anyone on behalf of anoda person....




    MEMOIRS FROM MISSIONS

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    1. Why would I just cut you off because you have an issue with my friend?? Childishness at it's peak.
      Hiya Favour

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  4. Amaka I understand u don't see anything wrong in been friends with your friend's ex but in a typical girl's circle its a no no. Good luck!

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    1. I can't and I never will. Like I just wake up and start keeping malice because you hurt my friend? What is it's my friend that hurt you?? People grow apart, life goes on. Besides, as a Christian with clean hands and pure heart, what will my moral justification be?

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  5. The friend of my enemy is?.... In all honesty we jst seek wisdom to knw wat best to do/judge.... Tomorow counts a lot n an enemy today can be a best friend tomorw,vice versa.

    www.lexhansplace.com

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  6. If we gave been friends, should I allow sentiments cloud my sense of judgment??

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  7. Girls have this wolf pack issue more. Then some idiots go and settle with the person behind the "thoughtless" friend's back. *smh.
    My gf's friend has stopped talking her now cos my gf won't delete the friend's ex off her bbm. So childish.

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  8. Well, it all depends sha. I don't want my close friend to be friends with my enemy . there is always a sense of insecurity anytime it happens. Girls! !!!

    Bolateethole.blogspot.com

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