Monday, 29 February 2016

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR ACTIONS

Very often, we find ourselves acting in such a way, projecting ourselves as being something we are not, only in a desperate bid to impress someone. Do you realise that by trying to take control of another person, you are actually exposing your own weakness? By trying to swagger and force a person to think of you as you need him to you are needlessly exposing your weakness and thus sabotaging your position. In such a situation, the person you are trying to impress will simply be in command of you. The minute you want something from someone, you automatically assume a weaker position.
Understand then that the more you crave for a person's good opinion or attention, the less likelihood of your ever receiving it.
The following actions will surely work against you in any situation:
1. Going out of your way to impress someone.
2. Falling all over someone trying to curry favour.
3. Making meaningless small talk just to be heard.
4. Trying to be overly concerned about the person's health and well being.
5. Hanging on to the person if he was angry or upset with you.
6. Trying to win the person's approval at all cost.
7. Constantly being on the defensive and trying to give explanations for every action.
8. Indulging in vacant or harmful gossips.
9. Always trying to say only nice things to someone though it is actually not your real opinion about the person.
The solution? Try to think before you talk. There will be less chance of sabotaging your position.
Do you feel a certain fear mounting within you? Is that why you fawn, try to impress and in general blabber nonsense? Ah! Then control yourself.
It is better to be a silent listener than to be someone who will make a fool of himself by indulging in all the above actions!

Sunday, 28 February 2016

SINGLE PARENTING

The friendship between Jan and I was a peculiar one. It dated back to when I was in my penultimate class in high school. Although we were in different schools and I was a year younger (but a class ahead), the chord struck the day we first spoke at a debate competition.

We made sure to keep in touch regularly thanks to Facebook but at some point, I became engrossed with school work while in the university and I hardly had time for social media inter alia.

It was a rude shock when one day I was browsing through my news feed and I saw Jan cuddling an infant. One million thoughts started racing through my mind. I was mad at the fact that she had a kid and was probably married without my knowledge, I was amused that she was now a mother, I was confused as to who her spouse was and I must admit, I was more confused/amused than mad.

Being the loud mouth that I am, I commented under the picture thus 'madam, weldone; you are now married without my knowledge. So much for friendship' and immediately, I got a message alert from her. On opening it, my greatest fear was confirmed. My dear Jan was the latest addition to the statistics of romance gone awry with a kid as the fallout of the unfortunate relationship.

By the time she started to narrate how she didn't know how she found herself in such because you see, my babe is very street wise than I am, I became sorry for her; sorry for the kid who might never know what it feels like to grow up in a family where the father and mother adores him, where each milestone growing up is captured alongside family moments, etc.

Much as we like to condemn single mothers (and fathers), I like to remind people who are quick to judge that it could have been any of us (so Jan darling and other sweethearts of mine known and unknown who were brought up in this environment or who are single parents, this article wasn't written to spite you).

My very effervescent friend is now a shadow of herself, she is frustrated. I know this because she takes it out on me.
I don't know how it feels like to be single and still act like a parent but I try to empathize always.

Here are some tips to cope as a single parent.

1. Build a strong family routine and stick to it. Allocate time for chores and time to spend as a family.

2. Establish ground rules since raising kids by yourself means you don't have anyone there to back you up if they won't play nicely.

3. Find opportunities everyday to praise good behaviours.

4. Set boundaries and limits. Children need to understand

5. Don't feel guilty. Don't blame yourself or spoil your child to try to make up for being a single parent.

6. Take care of yourself. Arrange time to do activities you enjoy alone or with close friends. Eat a healthy diet.

7. Lean on others. Join a support group for single parents, call on trusted loved ones, friends, etc for help.

8. Stay positive. Try to keep your sense of humour when dealing with everyday challenges.

9. Don't waste time being angry. Fine, the relationship didn't work out that's why  you are left to care for the infant alone. Being bitter is just a waste of time as this is unproductive.

10. Be financially stable. You need to save money for unexpected costs and eventualities.

Saturday, 27 February 2016

GRAMMAR 101

Hiya lovey dovies... I don't even know what to say, I know many people would have lost their patience  checking the blog and not seeing anything new... I don't know but I have to stop making excuses. I'm so sorry my darlings.

So sometimes in 2015, we started a series on "false cognates" which are English words commonly confused because they sound or are written so similarly that they are often confused and we took it alphabetically.. We should have concluded it a long time ago but I decided to introduce some other things but today, we'd be wrapping cognates up.

  1. Vain, vane, vein: A vane is a blade that rotates, Vain means fruitless, hopeless or without result, vein refers to a tube that carries blood back to the heart. 
  2. Verses, Versus: Verses is plural of verse, a line of poetry. Versus means in comparison or opposition to.
  3. Vicious, Viscous: Vicious means cruel and mean, viscous means thick and sticky. 
  4. Waist, waste: Waist refers often to the narrow area of a human body between the hips and ribs. Waste is garbage or to use carelessly. 
  5. Wary, weary: Wary means leery and cautious, weary means tired and worn. 
  6. Wave, waive: To wave is to move back and forth. Waive means to give up, not require or ask for. 
  7. Wear, ware, we're, were: Wear is a verb meaning to have clothing on. Ware is an article of merchandise. Were is past tense of are. We're in a contraction for "we are". 
  8. Weather, Whether: Weather has to do with climate. Whether means if and is used only inside sentences. 
  9. Wet, Whet: Wet is full of moisture. Whet is to stimulate or arouse. 
  10. Won't, Wont: Won't is a contraction for "will not". Wont means "used to". 
  11. Your, You're: Your is a possessive for you. You're is a contraction for "you are". 
And that's it on false cognates darlings. Special thanks to Alpha dictionary for the materials used. Till I come your way again, remember to speak/write error free English. Lol

Saturday, 6 February 2016

Lyrics of the day.

TITLE: OHUN OJUNRI
ARTISTE: BEAUTIFUL NUBIA


Ohun oju nri enu o ma ni le so o
Ohun oju ri omo o ma ni le so bo de’le o
They say we’re free and colonisation is a thing of the past
But look around you people
Time is going by and we still can’t get it right
They say our land is the home of poverty and disease
and we’re treated like second-class citizens of the world
Our leaders run around begging for help
When the solutions are right here at home with us
The future of the this land is in the hands
Of every man and woman, young and old
Everyone of us has a share in the blame for the failure of society
See, we‘re still slaves economically,
We‘re still slaves politically,
We‘re still slaves ideologically
But I’ve got a song to sing
Je a gbe’ra kuro o ninu ogbun aye,
Ore e so’ra, e dakun o, a ma njin si koto
Je a gbe’ra kuro o ninu ogbun aye
A ni e mu’ra, e so’ra o, a ma njin si koto lo o

We’re trying to fix things from the top to the ground
But the way to solve it is from the ground upwards
Lasting change begins at the individual level
Everyone dips in the pot but no one replenishes
Have you forgotten the rules?
Without love there can be no truth, justice and peace
We must turn our backs on selfishness and greed
Go back to our culture of community - all for one and one for all
Not just every man to his own
We must go back to the land
A nation that cannot feed itself
Will always remain subservient to others
We’re still slaves to material wealth,
We‘re still slaves to religion,
We‘re still slaves to foreign ideals
But I’ve got a song to sing

This land will be a great place one day
A place where dreams come true
Our hope is in the children
Teach them to love their fellow man
And never to judge anyone by the colour of their skin, religion or language
Teach to be proud of our culture
And the values of hardwork and perseverance, honest and humility
Treat every child like your own
For every child, no matter the circumstances of his birth,
Is a beacon to this glorious future
Teach them to be strong in love
And never look down on themselves
Teach them to be strong
And learn to hold their heads up wherever they may go
Teach the children to sing this song of pride
And let them sing it loud and clear:
I’m not ashamed to be who I am
I’m not ashamed - I’m a proud African
I’m not afraid - I’m a child of The Most High
I’m not ashamed and I’ve got a song to sing


Lyrics gotten from nairaland.