Sunday, 7 August 2016

Before you say I do (the end)

Today we'd be looking at the concluding part of some things you should not ignore before you walk down the aisle. Click here to read the first part.

14. Conflicts: Occasionally, there will be conflicts (even the teeth and tongue fight), talk bout how to resolve them. What are the things you both can handle? Talk about your strengths and weaknesses. What are your fears? What can your spouse do to appease you when you are angry? How can he/she increase the anger?
15. Handling friendships: How would you both handle relationships with the opposite sex even after the wedding? Are you the type of wife whose husband must never hug another lady? Or are you the type of husband whose wife must not wink at an old friend? Talk about these things.
16. Multi dimensional relationship: This includes God, spouse, parents, siblings, friends, academic pursuit,vision,goals and ambitions.
What is your threshold for lack of attention from your spouse?
Talk about your dedication to each of the above listed individuals/commitment.
17. Attitude about weight and body posture: He/she might not remain slim for life. Will you still love her for who she has grown to become?
18. Religious and spiritual beliefs: The God you believe in determines how you will behave and relate with people.
What are your beliefs? How involved are you in church activities? What's your opinion on service in the house of God?
How will marrying into a different religion or even different denomination affect your home and children in the long run?
 Iron these things out before saying "I do".
19. Hobbies and interests: Type of music enjoyed, things you do for relaxation. Obviously, if the husband is into EPL nd the wife is into zeeworld, then there will be conflict.
Find common interests between you and your potential partner, that way you can enjoy doing things and talking about them together without getting bored.
Often times, having different interest requires you or your partner to sacrifice your desires for the happiness of the other. Eventually, it may lead to ego problems and misunderstanding, so as much as possible, choose a potential partner who shares a lot of common interests with you.
20. Income distribution: Total amount of income to be spent, saved, given out, etc. Would you rather a joint or separate account?
Money issues can destroy the home, it's better to discuss such things before going ahead with the wedding.
How much should be allocated to vacation, church, relatives, investment, etc.
21. Cleanliness: Attitude to odour, dirty environment, etc. While some individuals do not see any wrong in living in a house not swept for days, others can't bear the thought of staying in an un swept environment for a day.
If your husband is the type that wears clothes once and wants them washed whereas the wife one that can wear clothes twice or thrice before considering a wash, there may be a problem.
22. Sickness: Ways of handling illness. Are your methods spiritual, medical, traditional, etc and in what order of priority? What are your individual health standards? Do you visit the doctor regularly?
While some individuals depend totally on God for divine healing, others can't do without their monthly checkups and visit to their doctors.
23. Interpersonal and social skills: How (s)he relates with God the supreme being, the poor, rich, mighty, elite, weak, sick, waiter, doorman etc. Don't be fooled, humans don't change, attitudes are only suppressed into oblivions when the spirit of the Lord takes over.
24. Geographical standards: Where can you live/reside? You two might have views world apart as it concerns residential areas. While your spouse prefers quiet and reserved areas, you might not have a flair for silent areas but for lively areas where you don't get to miss all the happenings.
Remote and secluded areas might be some people's favourite.
House chores, cooking and living standards.
25. Occupation: This is a variant of how much time you want to be spending together.
Who can you marry occupation wise? If you're marrying a medical practitioner, politician, pilot, etc, then the time spent together will obviously vary when compared to a teacher, clergy, etc.
26. Bed time and rest time: When to go to bed, when to wake up. To some people, night prayer will be the last activity for the day whereas to others, it's a movie that puts them to sleep.
For such a couple, the lady wants to sleep immediately after prayers, but the husband still wants to watch movies, surf the Internet, play games, etc.
27. Sex life: Sex is one of the cement that helps seal the bond in marriage. How often would you like it? Must it follow a strict schedule??

Thanks to Holyparcel for giving me the permission to use his material although I edited some part and made little additions too.
I hope this goes a long way  to touch one or two lives out there. Cheers!

2 comments:

  1. Nice work Amaka

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